#naughty

I have a whisper like a zipper. Your secret is safe in my pants.
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— Jarod Kintz

#humor #naughty #pants #safe #safety

Edwina knew things with Greg had just about run their course. She'd bedded him, and bought him clothes, and now it was time for the polite push out the door. Of course she wished her latest conquest all the best. If he was lucky, Greg would just fall right into some other powerful woman's bed. If not . . . well, if not he'd just have to do the old-fashioned thing and look for work. Though darling Greggy-poo didn't really seem the type. Edwina studied him while he slept by the pool, drinking in that tight behind and those bulging muscles for the last time. The trouble with younger men, she thought, was that they were so damned good at sex that they really didn't have to be good at anything else. ↗

— Barbara Taylor Bradford

#older-women #men

He’s an even-tempered stallion. What he lacks in stamina he makes up for in speed, kind of like most of the men I’ve slept with. ↗

— Lila Shaw

#naughty-humor #men

Queen Latifah used to help me out with my kids, because while we were all out on tour - Public Enemy, Naughty By Nature, Queen Latifah, Heavy D - when Public Enemy went onstage, I didn't have anybody solid to watch my kids. So, Latifah would help me out. ↗

— Flavor Flav

#because #enemy #heavy #help #i

I think Australians do well here because we feel a bit naughty, like we're in America and if they only knew how much fun we were having, we'd all get thrown out, you know. ↗

— Melissa George

#australians #because #bit #feel #fun

I think it's great to see how they've grown up, not just as actors but as people. They're still very much the same kids that I met many years ago. They've grown up and they are funny and wicked and naughty and bright, and I think as actors their work is just getting better and better. They've blossomed. ↗

— David Heyman

#better #blossomed #bright #funny #getting

If we're doing this for ten hours, I'm going to need a little incentive to stay motivated.' Patch hooked his elbow around my neck and dragged me into a kiss.'Everytime you strip my sword, I owe you a kiss. How's that sound?'I bit my lip to keep from giggling.'That sounds really dirty.' Patch waggled his brows.'Look whose mind just rolled into the gutter. Two kisses per strip. Any objections?' I pulledon an innocent face.'None whatsoever. ↗

— Becca Fitzpatrick

#humor

Blank House was exactly a nice empty sheet where nothing was accountable because you were so naughty that you were in Blank House. ↗

— Diane Cilento

#because #blank #empty #exactly #house

I rarely drink, but last night, after several hours and several beers at the bar, I found myself face to face with two huge boobs. They weren’t the breasts of a young woman, but those of an old man. Still, the taste of a nipple is genderless.
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— Jarod Kintz

#alcohol #awesome #bar #bizarre #drinking

Love is a banana. First you peel it, and then you roll on the condom.
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— Dark Jar Tin Zoo

#condom #food #fruit #funny #humor