#naughty

I make believe like asexuals make love—alone, with cardboard tubes.  ↗

#asexual #cardboard-tubes #imagination #love #make-believe

Actors are the best and the worst of people. They're like kids. When they're good, they're very very good. When they're bad they're very very naughty. ↗

— Kenneth Branagh

#best #good #kids #like #naughty

Several famous people have licked my nipples. Well, indirectly. First they licked the stamps, and then I peeled them off the letters and stuck them on my nipples.  ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#celebrity #fame #funny #humor #letter

If we're doing this for ten hours, I'm going to need a little incentive to stay motivated.' Patch hooked his elbow around my neck and dragged me into a kiss.'Everytime you strip my sword, I owe you a kiss. How's that sound?'I bit my lip to keep from giggling.'That sounds really dirty.' Patch waggled his brows.'Look whose mind just rolled into the gutter. Two kisses per strip. Any objections?' I pulledon an innocent face.'None whatsoever. ↗

— Becca Fitzpatrick

#humor

Just because I look sexy on the cover of Rolling Stone doesn't mean I'm naughty. ↗

— Britney Spears

#cover #i #just #just because #look

I rarely drink, but last night, after several hours and several beers at the bar, I found myself face to face with two huge boobs. They weren’t the breasts of a young woman, but those of an old man. Still, the taste of a nipple is genderless.  ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#alcohol #awesome #bar #bizarre #drinking

Love is a banana. First you peel it, and then you roll on the condom.  ↗

— Dark Jar Tin Zoo

#condom #food #fruit #funny #humor

My favorite color on canvas is nudity.   ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#canvas #color #naughty #nude #nudity

If my remote control doubled as a dildo, I'd never get off my ass to change the channel. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #lazy #naughty #change

Mozart was a punk, which people seem to forget. He was a naughty, naughty boy. ↗