#nap

I have spied for you and lied for you, put myself in mortal danger for you. Everything was supposed to be to keep Lily Potter’s son safe. Now you tell me you have been raising him like a pig for slaughter — ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#death

This just didn’t happen to girls like me. This just didn’t happen to anyone. ↗

— Jenna-Lynne Duncan

#kidnapped #kidnapping #teen #young-adult #teen

More people are leaving TV behind to read my books than ever before. In the last year alone I gained over two readers (three, to be exact). So I’d like to take a moment and say thanks mom, dad, and kidnap victim I keep chained in the basement. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#books #coercion #dad #family #gratitude

A mafia don could snap his fingers and somebody would snap my neck. But when I snap my fingers, people start dancing. Or at least my clones would.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#dancing #family #fingers #mafia #people

I have always loved camping, ever since I was eight, and was forcibly stuffed in a trunk and dropped off in the middle of the forest. My dad was a complex man, but I believe he was trying to show me the value of camping. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#dad #funny #hilarious #humor #kidnapping

The best birthday present I ever got from my grandpa was a skinny black tie. It didn’t come in a bag, a box, or even rolled up in tissue paper. It came wrapped in wisdom. As soon as he gave it to me he said, “A tie would make a stronger impression on your boss if you used it as a blindfold and kidnapped him. That‘s why I bought you a black one. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#blindfold #funny #kidnapped #wisdom #funny

Napoleon made war like I make love—from a height of about 68 centimeters. (I wear platform shoes while I’m on my knees) ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#love #napoleon #war #funny

I just took a little nap. I stole it from an infant.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#baby #humor #infant #nap #sleep

I know who I am, and I know who you are, and nothing else matters. it's how we live our life. ↗

— Tal McThenia

#identity #kidnapping #true-story #life

Could it be that the great Bonaparte is incapable of fathering a child? that it is not I who am at fault but you? ↗

— Carolly Erickson

#good-one #josephine-bonaparte #life