#nap

‎You cannot correct an old person every time they say something offensive. You would never make it through Thanksgiving dinner! ↗

— Stephen Colbert

#humor #inappropriate-remarks #offensive-remarks #humor

Really, I scolded myself, you should have known that you'd end up in a stone dungeon with no facilities. That's how these things always end up, isn't it? ↗

— Lilith Saintcrow

#kidnapped #humor

Rob looked a little shocked. "Don't you look at me like that," I snapped at him. "Just because I can't trim a beard don't mean I can't swear." "Like a sailor," he added. "I've never heard so many curses in my whole life. All combined. ↗

— A.C. Gaughen

#snappy-dialogue #humor

I can think of only one good solution to this dilemma," Diego said, having spent the entire night developing a plan. You sneak into the school and carry her off?" Gaspar quipped. That is the not-so-good solution. And it would be very difficult to sneak into a house full of women without raising an alarm." A cloud descended on Gaspar's brow. "I was not serious. Kidnapping is not a choice. ↗

— Sabrina Jeffries

#kidnapping #romance #humor

When I was kidnapped as a child my parents sent a letter to the hijackers me Pay 5,000 dollars or your back ↗

— Rodney Dangerfield

#funny #humor #humour #kiddnapped #rodney-dangerfield

Damn. I never should have agreed to this. What is he thinking? Here we are in a piece of crap pickup truck on our way to sit outside of a supermarket to kidnap this girl. Damn. He’d better not be falling for her. Sure she’s cute, but I can’t think about that. ↗

— Jenna-Lynne Duncan

#kidnapping #new-orleans #romance #young-adult #new-adult

I could tell I loved her from the moment I saw her, right after she opened the trunk, untied me, and took off my blindfold.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bound #kidnap #love #ropes #trunk

Woolsey bites on occasion ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#magnus-bane #possibly-inappropriate #funny

She’s not showing any interest in me and she looks like she doesn’t want to be here. Should I take off her handcuffs? I thought kidnap victims were supposed to fall in love with their captors?
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#fall-in-love #handcuffs #interest #kidnap #kidnapped

That is the second time you have spoken out of turn, Miss Granger,” said Snape coolly. “Five more points from Gryffindor for being an insufferable know-it-all. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#severus-snape #humor