#mustache

I want to get the huge wart that looks like a nose removed from my back, but first I'm going to try to grow a mustache underneath it, to make it less noticeable. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#blemish #funny #grotesque #humor #mustache

There’s truth and honor in a mustache. And that’s why I started flying one on the flagpole outside of my house. 
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— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #flag #flagpole #funny #honor

I called the police to report my missing mustache, but they didn’t take me seriously. I’ll bet if I had a mustache, they’d take me seriously. #catch22
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— Jarod Kintz

#cops #funny #humor #mustache #police

I watched Gene Kelly for his smile, for his energy. Vittorio Gassman for his movement. Clark Gable for his mustache. And I watched Lassie who was happy as a dog. ↗

— Jean Dujardin

#clark gable #dog #energy #gable #gene

When I went to the Olympics, I had every intention of shaving the mustache off, but I realized I was getting so many comments about it - and everybody was talking about it - that I decided to keep it. ↗

— Mark Spitz

#comments #decided #every #everybody #getting

I want to hang from a tree the way Spanish moss hung from my father's face, like the mustache he was so embarrassed he couldn't grow. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#mustache #spanish-moss #funny

The only time I'm not Hulk Hogan is when I'm behind closed doors because as soon as I walk out the front door, and somebody says hello to me, I can't just say 'hello' like Terry. When they see me, they see the blond hair, the mustache, and the bald head, they instantly think Hulk Hogan. ↗

— Hulk Hogan

#because #behind #blond #blond hair #closed

Love is a winding mountainous road. Do you have an extra unicycle and handlebar mustache I can borrow?
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— Jarod Kintz

#humor #love #mountains #mustache #mustaches

Mustaches are so cool that I not only have one—I have two. I wear both of mine above my eyes.
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— Jarod Kintz

#eyes #funny #humor #mustache #mustaches

Orafoura paid me in pajamas, and I let him because the pajamas matched his plaid mustache.
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— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #mustache #orafoura #pajamas