#mustache

I didn't want to wear a checked shirt and grow a mustache - that's what you had to do, and everyone did. ↗

— Neil Tennant

#did #everyone #grow #had #i

I want to buy a sports car, because I like riding bicycles. Hold on to my handlebar mustache if you value your life.
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— Jarod Kintz

#life #mustache #non-sequitur #sports-car #value

Love is a winding mountainous road. Do you have an extra unicycle and handlebar mustache I can borrow?
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— Jarod Kintz

#humor #love #mountains #mustache #mustaches

You could say sorry," suggested Harry bluntly. "What, and get attacked by another flock of canaries?" muttered Ron. "What did you have to imitate her for?" "She laughed at my mustache!" "So did I, it was the stupidest thing I've ever seen. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#humor

We can’t be lovers because we both have mustaches. But since you’re a lady, and I’m a gentleman, I’ll shave mine off. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #gentleman #humor #love #lovers

There’s truth and honor in a mustache. And that’s why I started flying one on the flagpole outside of my house. 
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— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #flag #flagpole #funny #honor

I called the police to report my missing mustache, but they didn’t take me seriously. I’ll bet if I had a mustache, they’d take me seriously. #catch22
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— Jarod Kintz

#cops #funny #humor #mustache #police

They told me I gave the best milk mustache of anybody. ↗

— Yasmine Bleeth

#best #gave #i #me #milk

I will say, as a woman, when you put a mustache on, you find out a lot of things about yourself. ↗

— Carrie Brownstein

#find #i #lot #mustache #out

In the name of freedom and redistribution of wealth, I’ve decided to grow a beard on my chest.
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— Jarod Kintz

#chest #freedom #mustache #redistribution #wealth