#murder

It'd be great to be so famous that if I murder someone, I will never, ever, ever serve any jail time, even if it's totally obvious to everyone that I did it. ↗

— Mindy Kaling

#fame #humor #kaling #mindy #murder

My love disappeared, along with the evidence of her dead body.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#death #evidence #humor #love #murder

Nowadays you have to be a scientist if you want to be a killer. No, no, I was neither. Ladies and gentleman of the jury, the majority of sex offenders that hanker for some throbbing, sweet-moaning, physical but not necessarily coital, relation with a girl-child, are innocuous, inadequate, passive, timid strangers who merely ask the community to allow them to pursue their practically harmless, so-called aberrant behavior, their little hot wet private acts of sexual deviation without the police and society cracking down upon them. We are not sex fiends! We do not rape as good soldiers do. We are unhappy, mild, dog-eyed gentlemen, sufficiently well integrated to control our urge in the presence of adults, but ready to give years and years of life for one chance to touch a nymphet. Emphatically, no killers are we. Poets never kill. ↗

— Vladimir Nabokov

#pedophilia #poets #soldiers #life

The Proclaimers thunder through my head. Imagine it. Imagine killing someone to the tune of two Scottish nerds wearing glasses and flattop haircuts. How will I ever listen to that song again? What will I do if it comes on the radio? I'll think of the night I murdered another man and stole his life with my own hands. ↗

— Markus Zusak

#murder #the-proclaimers #imagination

Being sociable is a skill you can learn. It’s like throwing a spiral, riding a bicycle, or murdering your clone’s lover, who also happens to be your girlfriend. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #murder #funny

I leveled the gun and fired until it was empty. ↗

— Rachel Brady

#murder #mystery #skydiving #sleuth #humor

Of all the ways to murder someone, slowly, over the course of about 75 years or so, is the best way to not get caught. Nobody, not even Sherlock Holmes, would suspect a thing. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#detective #murder #sherlock-holmes #suspicion #death

What careful planning, what painstaking attention to detail, goes into extinguishing a man's life! Far more than the hit-or-miss, haphazard circumstances of igniting it. ("New York Blues") ↗

— Cornell Woolrich

#execution #killing #murder #death

That's a demon for you. Wants me dead but wants to be sure that he is the one who does me in. ↗

— Daniel Xiao Wang

#demons #murder #death

In fact, until the last moments of his life, until the last seconds as he gasped for breath, he never realised how much he wanted to live. But, at that point, death was inevitable and nothing that had happened could be changed. ↗

— Stephen Craig

#crime #murder-mystery #whodunit #change