#murder

Being sociable is a skill you can learn. It’s like throwing a spiral, riding a bicycle, or murdering your clone’s lover, who also happens to be your girlfriend. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #murder #funny

I stole a bit of a chopped vegetable and was about to put it in my mouth when Jae’s long fingers closed over my wrist. “What? You can’t eat this raw?” “It’s bitter melon. You won’t like it.” He went into the fridge and came out with something that looked halfway familiar. “Here, leftover bao. There’s char siu inside.” “The red pork stuff? Yeah, I like that. I thought it was Chinese.” “It is. We also eat hamburgers and spaghetti. ↗

— Rhys Ford

#love #m-m-mystery #m-m-romance #multicultural #murder

He'd kill you all right. No sweat. But for the wrong reasons. Amateur's reasons. Of course, you'll be just as dead. ↗

— Laurell K. Hamilton

#murder #humor

It's like pretending to be Santa and then stabbing someone with a candy cane! ↗

— J.B. Stanley

#christmas #humor #murder #pretend #santa

I killed my clone. It’s not murder, it’s partial suicide. I want a stiff drink, but not alcohol. I want formaldehyde. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #murder #humor

The first crime was mine: I committed it when I made man mortal. Once I had done that, what was left for you, poor human murderers, to do? To kill your victims? But they already had the seedof death in them; all you could do was to hasten its fruition by a year or two. ↗

— Jean-Paul Sartre

#murder #the-flies #zeus #death

Your boss takes a dim view of SEX? ↗

— Vincent H. O'Neil

#directing #girlfriend #love #murder #mystery

Fifteen years ago I killed my sister. ↗

— Adam Rapp

#first-sentence #murder #death

That's a demon for you. Wants me dead but wants to be sure that he is the one who does me in. ↗

— Daniel Xiao Wang

#demons #murder #death

In fact, until the last moments of his life, until the last seconds as he gasped for breath, he never realised how much he wanted to live. But, at that point, death was inevitable and nothing that had happened could be changed. ↗

— Stephen Craig

#crime #murder-mystery #whodunit #change