#mp

Perv." He pointed to himself. "Male and eighteen. What's your point? ↗

— Rachel Caine

#morganvillevampires #funny

I've been to Canada, and I've always gotten the impression that I could take the country over in about two days. ↗

— Jon Stewart

#always #been #canada #could #country

This shit is easy peasy, pumpkin peasy, pumpkin pie, muthafucka! ↗

— Gerard Way

#gerardway #peasy #pie #pumpkins #funny

Self-knowledge is better than self-control any day," Raquel said firmly. "And I know myself well enough to know how I act around cookies. ↗

— Claudia Gray

#self-knowledge #temptation #funny

It is funny how mortals always picture us as putting things into their minds: in reality our best work is done by keeping things out. ↗

— C.S. Lewis

#funny

Aside from the obvious, Francesca, what do you want in return for supplying information?” Bones asked, getting back to the subject. “You to take me,” she replied at once. “Not gonna happen!” I spat, squeezing him possessively. Three sets of widened eyes fixed on me. That’s when I realized that what I had a firm grip on was no longer his hand. ↗

— Jeaniene Frost

#love #vampire #funny

Shane looked…pale. Pale and shaken and—how predictable was this?—pissed. ↗

— Rachel Caine

#morganville-vampires #shane-collins #funny

She was an idiot. An adorable, gorgeous, feisty, funny, sweet, sexy idiot. ↗

— Sarah Mayberry

#funny #humour #romance #funny

I’ve always loved you,” he said, his eyes a blue that was almost violet. “You know this.” She swallowed a lump in her throat. “I only wonder whether I deserve such devotion.” “Sometimes people fall in love with those who do not return the same strength of feelings. It is as it is,” he said with a quiet intensity. “What I give, I give freely. You owe me nothing, not love, not friendship, not even obligation. ↗

— Sherry Thomas

#sherry-thomas #tempting-the-bride #unrequited-love #friendship

So they finally gave you the license to kill, about time. ↗

— Richelle Mead

#funny #vampire-academy-series #funny