#moo

She prays to God, but He's silent. She searches for guidance, but the forest only moans. ↗

— Carrie Ryan

#hare-moon #tabitha #love

A forest," William said, his expression distant. "Where the ground is dry soil and stone. Where tall trees grow and centuries of autumn carpet their roots. Where the wind smells of game and wildflowers." "Why, that was lovely, Lord Bill. Do you ever write poetry? Something for your blueblood lady?" "No." "She doesn't like poetry?" "Leave it." Hehe. "Oh, so you have a lady. How interes-- ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#cerise #funny #ilona-andrews #the-edge #william

Aunt Elizabeth said, 'Do you expect to attend many balls, if I may ask?' and I said, 'Yes, when I am rich and famous.' and Aunt Elizabeth said, 'Yes, when the moon is made of green cheese. ↗

— L.M. Montgomery

#famous #funny #green #moon #rich

Kayso, Foo finally came home and I jumped into his arms and sort of rode him to the ground with a massive tongue kiss so deep that I could taste the burned cinnamon toast of his soul, but then I slapped him, so he didn't think I was a slut. (Shut up, he had wood.) --Being the Journal of Abby Normal ↗

— Christopher Moore

#christopher-moore #love

Moonshiners put more time, energy, thought, and love into their cars than any racer ever will. Lose on the track, and you go home. Lose with a load of whiskey, and you go to jail. ↗

— Junior Johnson

#home

There are moments, Jeeves, when one asks oneself, 'Do trousers matter?'" "The mood will pass, sir. ↗

— P.G. Wodehouse

#bad-mood #clothes #dejection #humor #humor

If I can’t see the bottom, I don’t know how much is left. Why does my love have to be so thick? I suppose because it keeps the engine of your heart running smooth.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#engine #heart #love #oil #run

Pervy and redundant, don't you think?" I asked the big gay cop, who wouldn't know a va-jay-jay if it bounced up to him and sang the "Star-Spangled Banner." (You ever notice that hardly anything besides the "Star-Spangled Banner" is spangled? There's no, like, the Raisin-Spangled Scone, or the Flea-Spangled Beagle. I'm just saying.) --Being the Journal of Abby Normal ↗

— Christopher Moore

#christopher-moore #love

You are quite possibly the least smooth guy I know,” she mumbled. “You can’t even put your arm around me without tripping up. ↗

— Lish McBride

#sarcasm #sex #smooth #humor

I do not traditionally speak ill of women, but your governess is a cabbagehead ↗

— Sarah MacLean

#humor #sarah-maclean #the-season #humor