#monkeys

Do you like flora and fauna? How about plants and animals? Because we have more of that beautiful crap than we know what to do with. Charmingly domesticated troops of monkeys swing freely throughout our orchid-laden property. You’re probably thinking that a lot of all-inclusive resorts have monkeys. True, but only one resort packs a monkey for each of their guests to take home. You’ll be showing off more than a tan to your friends, you’ll be showing off a gibbon. ↗

— Colin Nissan

#funny #humor #monkeys #resorts #beauty

I see in the fight club the strongest and smartest men who've ever lived. I see all this potential and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables, slaves with white collars, advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of the history man, no purpose or place, we have no Great war, no Great depression, our great war is a spiritual war, our great depression is our lives, we've been all raised by television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires and movie gods and rock stars, but we won't and we're slowly learning that fact. and we're very very pissed off. ↗

— Chuck Palahniuk

#nihilism #space-monkeys #tyler-durden #men

Monkeys who very sensibly refrain from speech, lest they should be set to earn their livings. ↗

— Kenneth Grahame

#lest #monkeys #refrain #sensibly #set

My first attempts to transmit typhus to laboratory animals, including the smaller species of monkeys, had failed, as had those of my predecessors, for reasons which I can easily supply today. ↗

— Charles Jules Henry Nicole

#easily #failed #first #had #i

You know, if you have a zoo you don't want the other creatures to see you. You want them to hang out and act properly and, you know, when the monkeys will come and ask for the bananas, they won't act like monkeys. If you want them to act on what their true nature is, you've got to leave them alone. ↗

— Tarsem Singh

#alone #ask #bananas #come #creatures

When I was a little girl, I loved monkeys. I wanted to be a primatologist. I went to the careers office to ask how. Because nobody could give me a good answer, I opted for acting. ↗

— Audrey Tautou

#answer #ask #because #careers #could

There's a statistical theory that if you gave a million monkeys typewriters and set them to work, they'd eventually come up with the complete works of Shakespeare. Thanks to the Internet, we now know this isn't true. ↗

— Ian Hart

#complete #eventually #gave #internet #know

We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true. ↗

— Robert Wilensky

#internet #monkeys #shakespeare #internet

No one is out to get you. It's just that... people are monkeys. ↗

— Stan Brakhage

#just #monkeys #out #people #you

You could put on monkeys jumping up and down and get bigger numbers than MSNBC. ↗

— Bill O'Reilly

#could #down #get #jumping #monkeys