#mon

I think the key indicator for wealth is not good grades, work ethic, or IQ. I believe it's relationships. Ask yourself two questions: How many people do I know, and how much ransom money could I get for each one? ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #grades #humor #iq #kidnap

I don't want to be a man," said Jace. "I want to be an angst-ridden teenager who can't confront his own inner demons and takes it out verbally on other people instead." "Well," said Luke, "you're doing a fantastic job. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#demons #growing-up #humor #jace-wayland #luke

NAUGHTY AND NICE? said Death. BUT IT'S EASY TO BE NICE IF YOU'RE RICH. IS THIS FAIR? Albert wanted to argue. He wanted to say, Really? In that case, how come so many of the rich buggers is bastards? And being poor don't mean being naughty, neither. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#economics #money #morality #society #death

Do you remember back at the hotel when you promised that if we lived, you’d get dressed up in a nurse’s outfit and give me a sponge bath?" asked Jace. "It was Simon who promised you the sponge bath." "As soon as I’m back on my feet, handsome," said Simon. "I knew we should have left you a rat. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#clary-fray #humor #jace-wayland #simon-lewis #humor

Well, I’m not kissing the mundane," said Jace. "I’d rather stay down here and rot." "Forever?" said Simon. "Forever’s an awfully long time." Jace raised his eyebrows. "I knew it," he said. "You want to kiss me, don’t you? ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#jace-wayland #simon-lewis #humor

Because you can't argue with all the fools in the world. It's easier to let them have their way, then trick them when they're not paying attention. ↗

— Christopher Paolini

#humor #smart #humor

If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to. ↗

— Dorothy Parker

#humor #money #humor

I guess it’s true what they say," observed Jace. "There are no straight men in the trenches." "That’s atheists, jackass," said Simon furiously. "There are no atheists in the trenches. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#jace #mortal-instruments #simon #humor

Lawful good to lawful evil!" said Simon, pleased. "He's quoting Dungeons and Dragons," said Clary. "Ignore him. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor #simon #humor

The au pair was bug-eyed. "What happened back there?" "It's not our fault!" Dan babbled. "Those guys are crazy! They're like mini-Darth Vaders without the mask!" "They're Benedictine monks!" Nellie exclaimed. "They're men of peace! Most of them are under vows of silence!" "Yeah, well, not anymore," Dan told her. "They cursed us out pretty good. I don't know the language, but some things you don't have to translate. ↗

— Gordon Korman

#cursing #dan-cahill #humor #nellie-gomez #the