#mm

I’m trying to decide whether to tell you two to get a room or go barf in the trash can,” Emma said. “I’m leaning toward the second choice. You are both getting way too weird. And gross.” Cal barked out a laugh and slid his fingers down my arm to entwine with mine. His touch, and Emma’s comments, only made me blush more. Looks like Emma saw Cal lick my face after all. Now that wasn’t awkward or anything. ↗

— E.J. Stevens

#emma #funny #legend-of-witchtrot-road #paranormal-romance #quirky

Someday I want to speckle myself into the sky, to stamp heaven with brand-name originality. ↗

— Bauvard

#humor #immortality #stars #funny

The payment made by a manufacturer to a patentee for the privilege of using the patent process, is usually termed, in commercial language, a rent; and under the same head must be ranked all extraordinary qualities of body and mind. ↗

— Nassau William Senior

#commercial #extraordinary #head #language #made

There's definitely a world view among college students that appreciates the need to act in the international community. ↗

— Jeanne Shaheen

#among #appreciates #college #college students #community

As the 109th Congress continues to debate legislation that will affect the lives of immigrants, it is important for us to remember that we are a nation of immigrants. ↗

— Jose Serrano

#congress #continues #debate #immigrants #important

I want to write the Boston Marathon of run-on sentences. And since it'll be so long, I'll replace all the commas with the word Gatorade, to help push people through it. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#boston-marathon #commas #funny #gatorade #humor

So I hear we get to go to town this weekend. Want to catch a movie or something? --Z P.S. That is, if Jimmy doesn't mind. Translation: This weekend might be a good chance for us to see each other outside our school in a social environment, free of competetiton. I do not view other boys as threats, and I enjoy making them seem insignificant by calling them the wrong names. (Translation by Macey McHenry) ↗

— Ally Carter

#gallgher-girls #humor #laugh-out-loud #zach #humor

Xander: To read makes our speaking English good. ↗

— Ashley Gable

#grammar-humor #humor #language #humor

What the semicolon's anxious supporters fret about is the tendency of contemporary writers to use a dash instead of a semicolon and thus precipitate the end of the world. Are they being alarmist? ↗

— Lynne Truss

#english-language #grammar #humor #lynne-truss #punctuation

When you're here, I'm there for you. And when you're there, I'm here for you.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#direction #here #humor #love #noncommittal