#microwave

Masturbation is love in a microwave. Be sure to use plenty of plastic wrap. ↗

— Bauvard

#masturbation #microwaves #love

I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time. ↗

— Steven Wright

#back #coffee #i #instant #microwave

Before he sat down, my internal heat-seekers sensed what was coming my way: deep blue eyes that melted girls like Velveeta in a microwave. I tried to resist those microwave eyes, but sometimes there's no defense against them. I had a feeling I'd be seeing him weeping over my coffin later that night. ↗

— Natalie Standiford

#humor #microwaves #natalie-standiford #humor

The New Age? It's just the old age stuck in a microwave oven for fifteen seconds. ↗

— James Randi

#fifteen #just #microwave #new #new age

We, and the universe we live in, produce and operate in a sea of natural and unnatural electrical and magnetic fields. The earth, for example, pulses at about 10 Hz, like a small engine. Our bodies, as you may remember from chapter 1, are really electromagnetic machines. We simply can't move a muscle or produce a thought without an electrical impulse - and wherever there is electricity, a magnetic field is also produced, which is why we link the two together into one word: electromagnetic." Ann Louise Gittleman ↗

— Ann Louise Gittleman

#electromagnetic #emf #microwaves #zapped #nature

I have the life of Riley. I take my kids to school, do a bit of work in the afternoon, pick my kids up, microwave a meal, hang out with my kids, and work for a couple of hours. ↗

— Sheena Easton

#bit #couple #hang #hours #i

The perfect gadget would somehow allow me to fly. Isn't that what everybody wants? It would also cook a damn good microwave pizza. So while in flight you had something to eat - an in-flight meal. Where would I go? Well, nowadays, it would probably just take me to work a lot quicker. ↗

— John Krasinski

#also #cook #damn #eat #everybody

Friends think your life is so glamorous, and it is. But there are times when, instead of going to a glamorous party, I would rather just come home from work, pop in a DVD and eat some microwave popcorn with a cutie on the sofa. ↗

— Carson Kressley

#dvd #eat #friends #glamorous #going

I don't cook - I can cook - but I'm not very good. I like being asked over for dinner, because she can't cook either. We would starve if it weren't for modern technology. I know how to work a microwave, but love home cooked meals. ↗

— Mark Mothersbaugh

#because #being #cook #cooked #dinner

My favorite thing to do is watch the radiation box. Not the TV, but the microwave. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#microwave #tv #funny