#median | Page 8 of 227

It seems like when I first started, people got into comedy because they wanted to be good comedians. ↗

To be a comedian, you gotta jokesmith, there's no way around it. ↗

Believe it or not the war on Iraq is based on a sound scientific principle, The bee hive principle. Which clearly states that if you are stung by a bee, you should follow it back to its nest and then proceed to beat nest to a pulp with a baseball bat until the stripey little turd has learned its lesson. ↗

— John Oliver

#hilarious #baseball

I hate stand-up comics; I think funny is something you are, not something you desperately try to be in front of a roomful of obnoxious people. ↗

— Peter Cameron

#funny

Shamu and I have arrived safely in Costa Rica. He was stopped by airport security because he carries enough artillery in his pants pockets to construct a sawed-off shotgun. Evidently, he though we were headed to Iraq. ↗

— Chelsea Handler

#funny #humor #humorous #funny

Jeff: I understand you guys had a good day today? Peanut: Yes we had a great day! Jose: No we did not. Peanut: Yes Jose: No Peanut: Yes Jose: No Peanut: Yes Jose: No we did not have a good day. Peanut: Yes we hhhaad...a great frickin' day! What? Jeff: Did you have a good day? Peanut: Yes Jose: No Peanut: Shut up Jeff: A good day? Peanut: Yes Jose: No Peanut: Shut up Jeff: You're supposed to have taken him to the spa. Peanut: I took him to the spa! Jose: He put me in the vegetable steamer. Peanut: It's the same thing!!! ↗

— Jeff Dunham

#humor #jeff-dunham #jose-jalapeno-on-a-stick #peanut #humor

Inside was the second LP album of a comedian's performance before an audience. ↗

— Shelley Berman

#audience #before #comedian #inside #performance

I was considered by my peers to be a good comedian. So that's all I ever strived to do was get some recognition from my peers. ↗

— Ron White

#considered #ever #get #good #i

My goal is just to become a better comedian. ↗

— Ron White

#better #comedian #goal #just

To me, seeing a really great comedian is a bit like watching a musician or a poet. ↗