#median

Read through the most famous quotes by topic #median




I was making pancakes the other day and a fly flew into the kitchen. And that's when I realized that a spatula is a lot like a fly swatter. And a crushed fly is a lot like a blueberry. And a roommate is a lot like a fly eater.


Demetri Martin


#comedy #demetri-martin #fly #funny #humor

I don't appreciate people who celebrate their dog's birthdays with "dog parties," and then invite their friends who don't even have dogs. I understand why people like dogs, and I think they definitely bring more to the table than cats or those godforsaken ferrets, but I don't think it's healthy for people to treat their dogs like they are real people.


Chelsea Handler


#comedy #dogs #funny #humor #humorous

I'm not a political comedian. That's just not what I do.


Louis C. K.


#i #i do #just #political

My greatest hope was to get discovered as a comedian and get on a sitcom.


Steve Buscemi


#discovered #get #greatest #hope #sitcom

I've been a comedian since I was fourteen. But I've never really been a CEO.


Dave Chappelle


#ceo #comedian #fourteen #i #never

My wife asked me once if I weren't a comedian what I would do. I couldn't answer the question. I never imagined doing anything else.


Dave Chappelle


#anything #asked #comedian #doing #else

The trouble with most comedians who try to do satire is that they are essentially brash, noisy and indelicate people who have to use a sledge hammer to smash a butterfly.


Imogene Coca


#butterfly #comedians #essentially #hammer #most

I was up until all hours of the night, listening to stories, meeting great old comedians.


Joely Fisher


#great #hours #i #listening #meeting

You shouldn't listen to us at all if you're looking for information. We don't take ourselves seriously on any level; we're just comedians.


Stephen Colbert


#comedians #information #just #level #listen

Oh yeah, I'd love to be a comedian. I've done a lot, but always in the confines of plays.


Michael Gambon


#comedian #confines #done #i #lot