#median

Sometimes, as a comedian, a line will come to you, that is so beautiful, so perfect, that you think: I did not create this line. This line belongs to all of us. Surely this is a line of God. ↗

— Russell Brand

#belongs #come #comedian #create #did

My greatest hope was to get discovered as a comedian and get on a sitcom. ↗

— Steve Buscemi

#discovered #get #greatest #hope #sitcom

It's so clear cut with a comedian - you have that reflex action, whereby you laugh or you don't. And so you either love us or you simply cannot see why people are laughing. ↗

— Jimmy Carr

#cannot #clear #comedian #cut #either

The trouble with most comedians who try to do satire is that they are essentially brash, noisy and indelicate people who have to use a sledge hammer to smash a butterfly. ↗

— Imogene Coca

#butterfly #comedians #essentially #hammer #most

If you go down as a comedian's comedian, that's basically meaning other comedians are hopefully feeling that you're doing okay. ↗

— Eddie Izzard

#comedian #comedians #doing #down #feeling

The truth is, I had always wanted to be a comedian, but I really didn't have that kind of personality, and it's a terrifying thing to say. ↗

— Jerry Seinfeld

#comedian #had #i #kind #personality

Whatever talent I had, I'm sure it helped that my parents were in the business and that I grew up around actors, comedians and directors. ↗

— Ben Stiller

#business #comedians #directors #grew #had

It seems like when I first started, people got into comedy because they wanted to be good comedians. ↗

— Wanda Sykes

#comedians #comedy #first #good #got

Believe it or not the war on Iraq is based on a sound scientific principle, The bee hive principle. Which clearly states that if you are stung by a bee, you should follow it back to its nest and then proceed to beat nest to a pulp with a baseball bat until the stripey little turd has learned its lesson. ↗

— John Oliver

#hilarious #baseball

Shamu and I have arrived safely in Costa Rica. He was stopped by airport security because he carries enough artillery in his pants pockets to construct a sawed-off shotgun. Evidently, he though we were headed to Iraq. ↗

— Chelsea Handler

#funny #humor #humorous #funny