#median

My wife asked me once if I weren't a comedian what I would do. I couldn't answer the question. I never imagined doing anything else. ↗

— Dave Chappelle

#anything #asked #comedian #doing #else

I was actually pretty shy in school. My defense mechanism was to be the class clown. I remember getting into a lot of trouble for being disruptive, and I was brought in front of the headteacher, who said: 'What's going to happen to you; what are you going to do when you grow up?' and I said: 'Well, I'm obviously going to be a comedian.' ↗

— Adam Clayton

#being #brought #class #class clown #clown

The trouble with most comedians who try to do satire is that they are essentially brash, noisy and indelicate people who have to use a sledge hammer to smash a butterfly. ↗

— Imogene Coca

#butterfly #comedians #essentially #hammer #most

I want to be a little more dramatic nowadays. I definitely want something big and funny, but I look for things that can just have people see me in a different light and let me mature as both an entertainer and an actor and a comedian. ↗

— Cedric the Entertainer

#big #both #comedian #definitely #different

If you go down as a comedian's comedian, that's basically meaning other comedians are hopefully feeling that you're doing okay. ↗

— Eddie Izzard

#comedian #comedians #doing #down #feeling

I wanted to do - there was this film called 'Magic' that Anthony Hopkins did. And the director wanted me. The writer wanted me. Joe Levine said no, I don't want any comedians in this. ↗

— Gene Wilder

#anthony hopkins #any #called #comedians #did

I don't appreciate people who celebrate their dog's birthdays with "dog parties," and then invite their friends who don't even have dogs. I understand why people like dogs, and I think they definitely bring more to the table than cats or those godforsaken ferrets, but I don't think it's healthy for people to treat their dogs like they are real people. ↗

— Chelsea Handler

#comedy #dogs #funny #humor #humorous

I'm not a political comedian. That's just not what I do. ↗

— Louis C. K.

#i #i do #just #political

Life is like a movie, if you've sat through more than half of it and its sucked every second so far, it probably isn't gonna get great right at the end and make it all worthwhile. None should blame you for walking out early. ↗

— Doug Stanhope

#doug #stanhope #life

I realized that comedians of the day were operating on jokes and punch lines. The moment you say the punch line, the audience either laughs sincerely or they laugh automatically or they don't laugh. The thing that bothered me was that automatic laugh. I said, that's not real laughter. ↗

— Steve Martin

#automatic #automatically #bothered #comedians #day