#mayo

All Carolina folk are crazy for mayonnaise, mayonnaise is as ambrosia to them, the food of their tarheeled gods. Mayonnaise comforts them, causes the vowels to slide more musically along their slow tongues, appeasing their grease-conditioned taste buds while transporting those buds to a place higher than lard could ever hope to fly. Yellow as summer sunlight, soft as young thighs, smooth as a Baptist preacher's rant, falsely innocent as a magician's handkerchief, mayonnaise will cloak a lettuce leaf, some shreds of cabbage, a few hunks of cold potato in the simplest splendor, restyling their dull character, making them lively and attractive again, granting them the capacity to delight the gullet if not the heart. Fried oysters, leftover roast, peanut butter: rare are the rations that fail to become instantly more scintillating from contact with this inanimate seductress, this goopy glory-monger, this alchemist in a jar. The mystery of mayonnaise-and others besides Dickie Goldwire have surely puzzled over this_is how egg yolks, vegetable oil, vinegar (wine's angry brother), salt, sugar (earth's primal grain-energy), lemon juice, water, and, naturally, a pinch of the ol' calcium disodium EDTA could be combined in such a way as to produce a condiment so versatile, satisfying, and outright majestic that mustard, ketchup, and their ilk must bow down before it (though, a at two bucks a jar, mayonnaise certainly doesn't put on airs)or else slink away in disgrace. Who but the French could have wrought this gastronomic miracle? Mayonnaise is France's gift to the New World's muddled palate, a boon that combines humanity's ancient instinctive craving for the cellular warmth of pure fat with the modern, romantic fondness for complex flavors: mayo (as the lazy call it) may appear mild and prosaic, but behind its creamy veil it fairly seethes with tangy disposition. Cholesterol aside, it projects the luster that we astro-orphans have identified with well-being ever since we fell from the stars. ↗

— Tom Robbins

#food

[Hadley] "I have a fear of mayo, so I've actually gotten pretty good at it over the years." [Oliver] "You have a fear of mayo?" She nods again."It's in my top three or four." "What are the others?" he asks with a grin. "I mean what could possibly be worse than mayonnaise. ↗

— Jennifer E. Smith

#top-fears #love

I would have strong opinions and be prepared to argue my case, but if you talk to my colleagues, I think you'd find they consider me the jokester, the informal mayor of the West Wing. ↗

— Karl Rove

#be prepared #case #colleagues #consider #find

I have to admit I didn't do as much as I should have back when I was mayor, but now we're getting it done. It's not where you've been but where you're going. ↗

— Marion Barry

#back #been #done #getting #going

If Ted Williams just tip his cap once he could be elected Mayor of Boston in five minutes. ↗

— Eddie Collins

#cap #could #elected #five #his

One of my favorite things is mayonnaise and I have to tell you that. I love mayonnaise, but I don't eat it any more. If I do I put light mayonnaise on it, which I know is still not good but it's a lot better than the other one and I don't eat it that much. ↗

— Mike Ditka

#better #eat #favorite #favorite things #good

While Mayor Daley surprised me today with his decision to not run for reelection, I have never been surprised by his leadership, dedication and tireless work on behalf of the city and the people of Chicago. ↗

— Rahm Emanuel

#behalf #chicago #city #daley #decision

As long as I am mayor of this city the great industries are secure. ↗

— Frank Hague

#city #great #i #i am #industries

So the mayor of New Orleans would have used his own buses had the people had been white? ↗

— Sean Hannity

#buses #had #his #mayor #new

Wherever there are rock 'n' rollers, we'll play. That's what we've been doing for more than 30 years - rock 'n' roll. It's made me everything from an honorary mayor to honorary member of a motorcycle gang. ↗

— Ronnie Hawkins

#doing #everything #gang #honorary #made