#mating

Global warming, the ongoing destruction of the planet, Third World debt, the uselessness of the railways, the takeover by the corporations, the scary George Bush person: all these things are important and should be animating me into outrage. Yet somehow they do not. ↗

— Arthur Smith

#bush #corporations #debt #destruction #george

He held up his index finger. "Rule one: in any dispute between mates, the male is always to blame, even when he is clearly blameless. Rule two"—his middle finger joined the first—"whenever in doubt, refer to rule one. ↗

— C.L. Wilson

#marriage #mating #humor

We offered her flowers and signalled to her with our penises, but she did not respond with joy.' 'The men with the extra skins didn't look happy. They looked angry.' 'We went towards them to greet them, but they ran away.' Snowman can imagine. The sight of these preternaturally calm, well-muscled men advancing en masse, singing their unusual music, green eyes glowing, blue penises waving in unison, both hands outstretched like extras in a zombie film, would have to have been alarming. ↗

— Margaret Atwood

#humour #mating #imagination

Elise?" He looked at her with a pleading, puppy-dog expression in his eyes. "Yes?" "I love you. ↗

— Nicky Charles

#i-love-you #law-of-the-lycans #love #nicky-charles #sweet

I mean to say, I know perfectly well that I've got, roughly speaking, half the amount of brain a normal bloke ought to possess. And when a girl comes along who has about twice the regular allowance, she too often makes a bee line for me with the love light in her eyes. I don't know how to account for it, but it is so." "It may be Nature's provision for maintaining the balance of the species, sir. ↗

— P.G. Wodehouse

#brains #evolution #humor #intelligence #love

The more we learn of science, the more we see that its wonderful mysteries are all explained by a few simple laws so connected together and so dependent upon each other, that we see the same mind animating them all. ↗

— Olympia Brown

#connected #dependent #each #explained #few

I had a patient once who dreamed she kept her husband in the deep freeze except for mating. Lots of men feel that way. ↗

— Robert Johnson

#dreamed #except #feel #freeze #had

It was like he was a caveman grunting, "You woman. Me man. Let’s make babies together. ↗

— Missy Lyons

#cave-men #caveman #grunting #instincts #mating

A male frigate bird blows up a wild red pouch on his neck. He can keep it puffed up for hours. It is his way of impressing the girls. ↗

— Julie Murphy

#children-s-books #courtship #frigate-bird #mating #nature