#masturbation

Read through the most famous quotes by topic #masturbation




And now Kit’s cock—which had mostly been used for taking a leak before that moment—woke up and screamed I WANT! FEED ME ASSHOLE! And Kit had given it a good handshake until it threw up.


Amy Lane


#masturbation #nsfw #humor

My first time I jacked off, I thought I'd invented it. I looked down at my sloppy handful of junk and thought, This is going to make me rich.


Chuck Palahniuk


#sex #rich

The clitoris is pure in purpose. It is the only organ in the body designed purely for pleasure. The clitoris is simply a bundle of nerves: 8,000 nerve fibers, to be precise. That’s a higher concentration of nerve fibers than is found anywhere else in the male or female body, including the fingertips, lips, and tongue, and it is twice, twice, twice the number in the penis. Who needs a hand gun when you’ve got a semi-automatic?


Eve Ensler


#masturbation #design

The Greatest thing about masturbation is that it is always available. I wager that many a condemn man has consoled himself this way during the night before his execution.


Robert Anton Wilson


#nature

Homer, in the second book of the Iliad says with fine enthusiasm, "Give me masturbation or give me death." Caesar, in his Commentaries, says, "To the lonely it is company; to the forsaken it is a friend; to the aged and to the impotent it is a benefactor. They that are penniless are yet rich, in that they still have this majestic diversion." In another place this experienced observer has said, "There are times when I prefer it to sodomy." Robinson Crusoe says, "I cannot describe what I owe to this gentle art." Queen Elizabeth said, "It is the bulwark of virginity." Cetewayo, the Zulu hero, remarked, "A jerk in the hand is worth two in the bush." The immortal Franklin has said, "Masturbation is the best policy." Michelangelo and all of the other old masters--"old masters," I will remark, is an abbreviation, a contraction--have used similar language. Michelangelo said to Pope Julius II, "Self-negation is noble, self-culture beneficent, self-possession is manly, but to the truly great and inspiring soul they are poor and tame compared with self-abuse." Mr. Brown, here, in one of his latest and most graceful poems, refers to it in an eloquent line which is destined to live to the end of time--"None knows it but to love it; none name it but to praise.


Mark Twain


#caesar #cetewayo #homer #iliad #masturbation

I like spending all my time making things with my hands. Mostly I make love to myself.


Jarod Kintz


#masturbation #life

The difference between a self-induced orgasm and an orgasm given by a man is like comparing a rainy day and a rain storm. Rain was a sure thing, you knew exactly what you were going to get: a clean and crisp, both sweet and refreshing experience. But rainstorms were unpredictable, they were riddled with surprises, messy and wet; they were something you had no control over.


Madeline Sheehan


#orgasm #sex #experience

And if I had a clone of myself, I’d seriously consider giving up my crime fighting to settle down in a serious relationship. Even though it would be a same sex relationship, dating your own clone definitely isn’t gay. And even though you are related to yourself, dating your own clone is not incest either. It’s merely self-love. It’s more like masturbation mixed with conversation. How many times have you longed for a talking penis?


Jarod Kintz


#funny #masturbation #dating

Remember how it felt yesterday? What you saw me do?” I snorted and grinned. “Man, do I ever. I remembered twice last night and again this morning.


Missy Welsh


#innuendo #masturbation #humor

Masturbation is love in a microwave. Be sure to use plenty of plastic wrap.


Bauvard


#masturbation #microwaves #love