#mart

A stupid person can make only certain, limited types of errors; the mistakes open to a clever fellow are far broader. But to the one who knows how smart he is compared to everyone else, the possibilities for true idiocy are boundless. ↗

— Steven Brust

#smartass #smartness #stupid #humor

Dead anarchists make martyrs, you know, and keep living for centuries. But absent ones can be forgotten. ↗

— Ursula K. Le Guin

#martyrdom #anarchy

What's Walmart, do they sell like wall stuff? ↗

— Paris Hilton

#dumb #wal-mart #paris

[Stares at dead knight, killed by the Direwolves] Ersen: If he had sounded his horn... Theon: Try and imagine it was you up there, Ersen. Its dark and cold. You have been walking century for hours looking forward to the end of your watch. Then you hear a noise and you move forward to the gate, and suddenly, you see eyes glowing green and gold in the torchlight. Two shadows come rushing toward you faster than you can believe. You catch a glimpse of teeth, start to level your spear, and they slam into you and open your belly, tearing through leather as if it was cheese cloth. [Shoves Ersen hard] Theon: And now you're down on you back, your guts are spilling out and one of them has his teeth around your neck. [Grabs Ersen around the neck and sqeezes] Theon: Tell me, at what moment during all of this do you stop to blow your Fucking horn?" [Shoves Ersen roughly] ↗

— George R.R. Martin

#imagination

...I couldn't let go of the thought that it had, in fact, been he, restless and moody Heathcliff. Day after day, he floated through all the Wal-Marts in America, searching for me in a million lonely aisles. ↗

— Marisha Pessl

#heathcliff #longing #wal-mart #wuthering-heights #love

He had a real mother, and a stepfather named Bart who Martin called Fart but only with his brothers and James ↗

— Marthe Jocelyn

#marthe-jocelyn #funny

He's the meanest one. We call him..Byrd the Turd ↗

— Marthe Jocelyn

#funny #james #marthe-jocelyn #funny

Lord Snow wants to take my place now.' He sneered. 'I'd have an easier time teaching a wolf to juggle than you will training this aurochs.' 'I'll take that wager, Ser Alliser', Jon said. 'I'd love to see Ghost juggle. ↗

— George R.R. Martin

#a-song-of-ice-and-fire #bold #george-r-r-martin #ghost #jon-snow

Hugh consoled me, saying, "Don't let it get to you. There are plenty of things you're good at." When asked for some examples, he listed vacuuming and naming stuffed animals. He says he can probably come up with a few more, but he'll need some time to think. ↗

— David Sedaris

#iq #smart #talent #humor

Wal-mart started selling "Vampire Home Defense Kits", including holy water, crosses, stakes, mallets, and a book of quick blessings to bar vampires from your door. The fact that these kits were generally useless didn't bother me nearly as much as the idea of holy water being sold at wal-mart. ↗

— Molly Harper

#vampire-defense #vampire-romance #vampires #wal-mart #vampire-romance