#mart

Lord Snow wants to take my place now.' He sneered. 'I'd have an easier time teaching a wolf to juggle than you will training this aurochs.' 'I'll take that wager, Ser Alliser', Jon said. 'I'd love to see Ghost juggle. ↗

— George R.R. Martin

#a-song-of-ice-and-fire #bold #george-r-r-martin #ghost #jon-snow

Hugh consoled me, saying, "Don't let it get to you. There are plenty of things you're good at." When asked for some examples, he listed vacuuming and naming stuffed animals. He says he can probably come up with a few more, but he'll need some time to think. ↗

— David Sedaris

#iq #smart #talent #humor

Wal-mart started selling "Vampire Home Defense Kits", including holy water, crosses, stakes, mallets, and a book of quick blessings to bar vampires from your door. The fact that these kits were generally useless didn't bother me nearly as much as the idea of holy water being sold at wal-mart. ↗

— Molly Harper

#vampire-defense #vampire-romance #vampires #wal-mart #vampire-romance

It doesn't matter if they hate you, or embarrass you, or simply don't appreciate your genius for inventing the internet-" "You invented the internet?" It was my idea, Martha said. Rats are delicious, George said. "It was my idea!" Hermes said. "I mean the internet, not the rats. But that's not the point. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#hermes #humor #internet #martha #percy-jackson

Look, Sage. I don't know much about chemistry or computer hacking or photosynthery, but this is something I've got a lot of experience with." I think he mean photosynthesis, but I didn't correct him. "Use my knowledge. Don't let it go to waste. ↗

— Richelle Mead

#humor #smart #sydney-sage #experience

I pressed PLAY and started up Chiron's favorite--the All-Time Greatest Hits of Dean Martin. Suddenly the air was filled with violins and a bunch of guys moaning in Italian. The demon pigeons went nuts. They started flying in circles, running into each other like they wanted to bash their own brains out. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#humor #pigeons #humor

She's kind of a walking poem, she's this perfect beauty...but at the same time very deep, very smart. ↗

— Johnny Depp

#beauty #deep #perfect #poem #smart

Tanner: I think that I might kiss you to keep your lips busy with something other than insulting me. Ella: If you think you can do it without getting lost. ↗

— Melissa Lemon

#humorous #melissa-lemon #romantic #smartass #business

I spit upon your God! ↗

— William Golding

#pincher-martin #death

It's an insidious idea, this notion that there is life after death. The promise of a reward in the afterlife has been used as an excuse to deny help to the poor, helpless and oppressed; to explain away human misery rather than deal with it. It is an idea that is used to encourage young men and women to kill themselves, and others, so that they can become martyrs. It allows victims of injustice to be told not to worry because justice will be done in the afterlife. It depresses me to think that so many people on the planet live their lives with this notion. Can we truly fulfill our potential as a species as long as we hold on to, and encourage, the perpetuation of the lie of life after death? ↗

— Alom Shaha

#atheism #injustice #justice #life-after-death #martyrs