#marriage

I come from divorce. I'm only doing marriage once. It's not a game for me. ↗

— Shia LaBeouf

#divorce #doing #game #i #marriage

I understand why marriages break up over golf. I can't even talk about my own handicap because it's too upsetting. ↗

— Shia LaBeouf

#because #break #break up #even #golf

Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry. ↗

— Rita Rudner

#better #bought #ear #experienced #jewelry

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. ↗

— Rita Rudner

#buy #carpet #child #decide #dog

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk. ↗

— Rita Rudner

#hollywood #marriage #milk #outlasts #success

Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy, the first question I ask myself is: is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with? ↗

— Rita Rudner

#children #first #guy #i #last

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry. ↗

— Rita Rudner

#bought #ear #experienced #i #i think

I don't know, one out of every two marriages ends up in divorce so there's a lot of great people out there who people aren't happy with. ↗

— Mark Ruffalo

#ends #every #great #great people #happy

I think of marriage as a garden. You have to tend to it. Respect it, take care of it, feed it. Make sure everyone is getting the right amount of, um, sunlight. ↗

— Mark Ruffalo

#care #everyone #feed #garden #getting

Housewife: a position requiring great ambition to fill. Must have the determination to scrub mold, the good taste to distribute a checking account, and the good will to repeat this at a maid service or department store after her husband starts coming home drunk. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #marriage #wife #funny