#mar

Aw, kiss him, Gwen, clamored a hundred perky eggs. Shut up, she rebuked. We don't even know him, and until moments ago we thought he was dead. That's no way to start a relationship. ↗

— Karen Marie Moning

#eggs #gwen #humorous #karen-marie-moning #kiss

Stupid English." "English isn't stupid," I say. "Well, my English teacher is." He makes a face. "Mr. Franklin assigned an essay about our favorite subject, and I wanted to write about lunch, but he won't let me." "Why not?" "He says lunch isn't a subject." I glance at him. "It isn't." "Well," Jacob says, "it's not a predicate, either. Shouldn't he know that? ↗

— Jodi Picoult

#grammar #humor #school #humor

So hey, once Joshua heals your brother, you want to go do something, get some pomegranate juice, a falafel,or get married or something? ↗

— Christopher Moore

#humor #humor

JACK That is nonsense. If I marry a charming girl like Gwendolen, and she is the only girl I ever saw in my life that I would marry, I certainly won't want to know Bunbury. ALGERNON Then your wife will. You don't seem to realize, that in married life three is company and two is none. JACK That, my dear young friend, is the theory that the corrupt French Drama has been propounding for the last fifty years. ALGERNON Yes; and that the happy English home has proved in half the time. ↗

— Oscar Wilde

#humor #marriage #humor

Advising Mrs. Harris was the least I could do," David said smoothly. "After all, she was the one who brought me and my late wife together." That was stretching it a bit, since all Charlotte had done was give Sarah lessons in how to avoid fortune hunters, thus ensuring that the recalcitrant girl went right out and married the first one who approached her. ↗

— Sabrina Jeffries

#marriage #romance #humor

Commoners Supermarket! Commoners Supermarket! ↗

— Hikaru and Koaru Hitachiin

#manga #supermarkets #humor

It's a terrible thing for a man when his woman gangs up on him wi' a toad ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#husband #marriage #toads #wife #humor

This was fun. We should find out we're still married more often." "Why, so every day can be a special new plunge into hell?" "Nobody I'd rather burn with than you, babe. ↗

— Erin McCarthy

#hell #humor #marriage #humor

Ingrid shrugged...like Marie Antoinette hearing about the starving peasants. ↗

— Peter Abrahams

#marie-antoinette #humor

It's a very remarkable story." "Remarkable's a well-chosen word. It doesn't give you away. ↗

— James Hilton

#remarkable #review #story #humor