#mail

Mr. Worthington, I understand that you do not control Chuck and Jasper. But you see, I am in a similar situation. I do not control the little devil sitting on my left shoulder. The devil is saying, "PRINT THE PICTURE PRINT THE PICTURE TAPE IT UP ALL OVER SCHOOL DO IT DO IT DO IT." And then on my right shoulder, there is a little tiny white angel. And the angel is saying, "Man, I sure as shit hope all those freshmen get their money bright and early on Monday morning." So do I, little angel. So do I. Best Wishes, Your friendly Neighboorhood Nemesis. ↗

— John Green

#replied-email-to-mr-worthington #money

Who but the sports-mad [Norman] Mailer would liken the battle between God and the Devil to a game of American football? The contest, for sure, has with [sic] own laws (so that after God and the Devil 'tackle a guy, they don't kick him in the head'), but each side is not above cheating—with God breaking the rules occasionally by throwing in 'a miracle'. Strangely, Mailer doesn’t mention Jesus in this agonising analogy, but then the notion of the 'super-sub' may be an image too far even for him. ↗

— Christopher Hitchens

#book-review #devil #god #jesus #miracles

I am one of those servants – butlers usually – who respectfully points out when their master is about to do something stupid: "You should probably only burn the document once the blackmail has been completed, m' lady. ↗

— Joe Dunthorne

#humour #respect

At present I answer about 100 letters a month, and read 300 emails. ↗

— Piers Anthony

#answer #emails #i #letters #month

I don't use e-mail or u-mail or whatever it's called. ↗

— Joe Arpaio

#e-mail #i #use #whatever

Politicians are just Daily Mail journalists writ large, aren't they? They're always telling us what's going to happen, and we know they don't know! ↗

— Tom Baker

#daily #going #happen #journalists #just

Our mail product, Hotmail, is the market leader globally. ↗

— Steve Ballmer

#leader #mail #market #our #product

I read our emails every day and I know there are people out there who think I'm awful. ↗

— Dan Abrams

#day #emails #every #every day #i

I get mail; therefore I am. ↗

— Scott Adams

#get #i #i am #mail #therefore

I'm predicting that we'll finally have a computer will search my e-mail automatically and delete every message that begins with 'thought you'd be interested,' and then give an electrical shock to the sender to remind him or her to stop send that kind of message. ↗

— Scott Adams

#begins #computer #delete #e-mail #electrical