#magi

Jiggery pokery!” said Harry in a fierce voice. “Hocus pocus — squiggly wiggly —” “MUUUUUUM!” howled Dudley, “He’s doing you know what! ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#fantasy #humor #magic #humor

The spells are made up. I have met people who assure me, very seriously, that they are trying to do them, and I can assure them, just as seriously, that they don’t work. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#magic #humor

Louis-Cesare slowly pulled himself into a half-standing position against the side of the winery.'What? Did you think one little mage was going to do me in?' He swallowed hard. 'Hell, that was just a warm-up. ↗

— Karen Chance

#damphir #dorina #fiction #humor #mage

Magic is the only honest profession. A magician promises to deceive you and he does. ↗

— Karl Germain

#humor #illusionists #illusions #magic #magicians

And that's what I don't like about magic, Captain. 'cos it's *magic*. You can't ask questions, it's magic. It doesn't explain anything, it's magic. You don't know where it comes from, it's magic! That's what I don't like about magic, it does everything by magic! ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#humor #magic #science-fiction #humor

The nails from a suicide's coffin, and the skull of the parricide, were of course no trouble; for Vesquit never traveled without these household requisites. ↗

— Aleister Crowley

#humor #magic #magick #necromancy #humor

B looked down the shaft, at a metal ladder and darkness beyond. "Me first?" Of course. You're the apprentice, so you always go first into the unknown. If anyone's going to be eaten by a grue, it should be you." Tough job. But at least the hours are terrible. ↗

— Tim Pratt

#humor #magic #spell #humor

A body is a body." Viscarro shrugged his bony shoulders. "Dead, alive, alive, dead. I fail to see the importance of the distinction." Yeah? So you'd just as soon fuck a living person as a dead one? What's the point of the distinction? Oh, right-one's normal, and one's called necrophilia." Viscarro sighed. "Touche, I suppose. ↗

— Tim Pratt

#humor #magic #spell #humor

You can't wish for more wishes or for vague generalities like happiness that are impossible to grant. Your wish has to be something specific enough that I can use my wand to make it happen. Oh, and recently there's been a ban on inserting yourself into the Twilight series. The Cullens are tired of different teenage girls pinging into their story every time they turn around. ↗

— Janette Rallison

#magic #twilight #wishes #humor

When Charles Darwin published On the Origin of Species in 1859, he exposed the world to a momentous discovery . For the first time in history, human beings were seen not as creatures of divine origin, but instead, as a product of nature, an animal like every other on the planet. Imagine yourself back in that amazing year. The day before Darwin’s book was published, you wake up thinking yourself the image of God; the next morning you realize you have the face of a monkey. Not everybody immediately embraced this rude demotion from god to goat. ↗

— Jeff Schweitzer

#morality #religion #imagination