#lol

You have terminated me,” one of them said in a strange, flat voice. “But I am one of many.” “Robots!” Iggy breathed, taking Total from Angel. “One of many, one of many, one of many,” the robot Eraser was saying. Now Nudge saw the red light in its eyes, saw how they were fading and winking out. “Good!” spat the Gasman, kicking it hard. “Because we like to blow stuff up, blow stuff up, blow stuff up! ↗

— James Patterson

#bombs #fight #flying #funny #lol

And Talon did not understand – no, strike that, he didn‘t want to understand – why seeing Hawk and Roadkill together gave him a funny ache in the pit of his stomach. Every time he looked at Flit, the ache got worse. He needed to get laid. ↗

— Aggy Bird

#lol #funny

I woke up the Following morning with the Kings of Leon telling me that "my sex was on fire." I shut off my alarm and that's when all of the memories of the previous night came rushing back. ↗

— Kristen Middleton

#lol-funny #music-lyrics #funny

(Sebastian) "See, there you go. You're always looking at me like that." "Like what?" "Like I burn down animal shelters for fun and light my cigarettes with orphans. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#clary-fray #jonathan-morgenstern #lol #sebastian #clary-fray

Clary?" he thought. Her voice came through, tinged with alarm. "What is it? What's happened? Did my mom find out I'm gone?" "Not yet," he thought back. "Is Azazel the cat from the Smurfs?" There was a long pause. "That's Azrael, Simon. And no more using the magic rings for Smurfs question. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#clary-fray #lol #simon #smurfs #clary-fray

I want to do it too!” said Gazzy, sitting very, very quietly, completely motionless. “Nope,” said Nudge, shaking her head. “You stand out like a fart in church. ↗

— James Patterson

#fart #funny #lol #powers #funny

I'm simpley one hell of a butler. ↗

— Sebastian Michealis

#black #butler #funny #hell #i-m

Shoes are stupid. Why do people wear them?" -Bliss He laughed, "So they don't step on a nail and get tetanus, that's why." -Cade "Wear. Where. Wear. W's are wwweeird."-Bliss ↗

— Cora Carmack

#lol #lol

Which brings me to the point of this call." Thank God, baby Jesus, and the Holy Ghost. ↗

— Jennifer L. Armentrout

#j-lynn #jennifer-l-armentrout #lol #wait-for-you #lol

We all know whose side you're on," marshall says, picking him up and launching him toward the window. The explosive sound of glass shattering fills the room. The walls tremble from the sheer heft of his violent exit. "What the hell?" Barron rushes in with a needle at the ready. "I've removed your son from the premises per Skyla's wishes. ↗

— Addison Moore

#lol #marshall #toxic #lol