#lol

Breast milk is big business." My mother uses my sarcasm as a springboard for her insanity. "We should consider opening a shop that caters to that market. We can call it 'The Milk Bar' or 'Mother's Milk'." ...Ethan slaps his hand on the counter. "We can have ice cream made from that shit." He nods into my mother, stony faces, as if he didn't just let an expletive fly. ↗

— Addison Moore

#lol #mom #skyla #toxic #business

Why did I hope we would be happy abroad? A change of environment is that traditional fallacy upon which doomed loves, and lungs, rely. ↗

— Vladimir Nabokov

#lolita #nabokov #change

How do you know I'm not like that actress they're always mocking, the one whose expressions they claim never change? What's her name? Kristen Stewart. ↗

— Tiffany King

#change

Well, the, he ought to write her a letter. He ought to say: 'This is to tell you that I propose to live with you as soon as this show is over. You will be prepared immediately on cessation of active hostilities to put yourself at my disposal; please. Signed, Xtopher Tietjens, Acting O.C. 9th Glams. A proper military communication. ↗

— Ford Madox Ford

#romantic #tietjens #communication

Luke captured my gaze again and said, "If beauty were time, you'd be eternity." My heart stopped. I was paralysed to look away from him (...) Thankfully, another senior boy who apparently wasn't dating anyone spoke. And when the words came out of his mouth, I understood why he was girlfriendless. "If you were a booger, I'd pick you first." A lot of yuck and that's gross penetrated the table's atmosphere. A rain of crumpled napkins showered over the boy. Of course, all the guys laughed at him, including Luke, who was finally looking away from me. I was never so grateful for such a tactless comment. ↗

— Shannon Dermott

#shannon-dermott #waiting-for-mercy #beauty

Electrical shivers shoot up my leg. And my knee is such a slut! She likes it! She's that friend you have. The one who you tell you're on a diet and the next day shows up with cupcakes and says, Aww, just one won't hurt. ↗

— Jillian Dodd

#lol #dating

Death was in his eyes and hell would follow. ↗

— Quinn Loftis

#supermegafoxyawesomehot #death

Glaring at the Gasman, ter Borcht said, “Your time is coming to an end, you pathetic failure of an experiment. Vhat you say now is how you vill be remembered.” Gazzy’s blue eyes flashed. “Then you can remember me telling you to kiss my-” “Enough!” ter Borcht said. ↗

— James Patterson

#badass #cool-response #death #end #funny

All at once we were madly, clumsily, shamelessly, agonizingly in love with each other... ↗

— Vladimir Nabokov

#love #love

She spoke throught her teeth. "Almost, dear. What were the real words you used? The bad words. It's okay to say them again, just this once." I shrugged, "fine. I said'. . . just 'cause Daddy wants you to suck on his ding-a-ling. ↗

— Michael Siemsen

#father-humphrey #group-talk #lol #morgan #morgan-mother