#lit

Does it help if we're so strong-willed, stubborn, ambitious, and selfish that we always overcome everything in our way no matter what?" asked Wang-mu. "I think those are the pertinent virtues, yes," said Peter. "Then let's do it. That's us in spades. ↗

— Orson Scott Card

#personality #humor

AMNESTY, n. The state's magnanimity to those offenders whom it would be too expensive to punish. ↗

— Ambrose Bierce

#crime #humor #immigration #politics #punishment

History is gossip that's been legitimized, and that's really the case when you get into some of the Roman historians. Wow! They'd be right at home on reality tv. ↗

— Esther M. Friesner

#humor #reality-tv #writing #humor

What are American dry-goods? asked the duchess, raising her large hands in wonder and accentuating the verb. American novels, answered Lord Henry. ↗

— Oscar Wilde

#bad-reviews #books #humor #literary-criticism #novels

Who knows himself a braggart, let him fear this, for it will come to pass that every braggart shall be found an ass. ↗

— William Shakespeare

#ass #braggart #bragging #humility #humor

You know, there are several gay men on the faculty. Professor Montag makes jelly beans look colorless(...) ↗

— Tara Lain

#gender-stereotypes #homosexuality #humorous #humor

Indeed, one concern would be that the initial neoconservative response to a zombie outbreak would be to invade Iraq again out of force of habit. ↗

— Daniel W. Drezner

#politics #zombies #humor

God really must have had a sense of humor, because if I had to name my biggest turn-on, it was literature. And he had just recommended a book that I didn’t know, that wasn’t taught in school. If I were single, there would be no better pick-up line. ↗

— Kody Keplinger

#turn-on #humor

Essentially, the whole time I’d been here, the security staff hadn’t been paid. I would have been harassing the management too, though I probably would have started with a discussion and not so much jumping straight to peeing on someone’s bed. You have to work up to that sort of thing. Still, I had essentially staged a hostile takeover, which did kind of explain why they’d been going on the offensive. ↗

— Lish McBride

#humor #humor

The pen is mightier than the sword unless it's a real sword in which case the guy with the pen should run away fast. ↗

— Roger Eschbacher

#practicality-for-intellectuals #swords #writing #humor