#lice

You have attributed conditions to villainy that simply result from stupidity. ↗

— Robert A. Heinlein

#malice #stupidity #earth

Mad Hatter: “Why is a raven like a writing-desk?” “Have you guessed the riddle yet?” the Hatter said, turning to Alice again. “No, I give it up,” Alice replied: “What’s the answer?” “I haven’t the slightest idea,” said the Hatter ↗

— Lewis Carroll

#insanity #madness #idea

You're awfully small to be so hugely irritating. ↗

— Stephenie Meyer

#edward #insults #insult

It's a poor sort of memory that only works backwards,' says the White Queen to Alice. ↗

— Lewis Carroll

#carroll #memory #poor

He just waited until I stopped talking and said, 'Jesus, kid, you're almost a detective. All you need now is a gun, a gut, and three ex-wives. So what's your theory? ↗

— John Green

#police #sarcasm #guns

And how do you know that you're mad? "To begin with," said the Cat, "a dog's not mad. You grant that?" I suppose so, said Alice. "Well then," the Cat went on, "you see a dog growls when it's angry, and wags it's tale when it's pleased. Now I growl when I'm pleased, and wag my tail when I'm angry. Therefore I'm mad. ↗

— Lewis Carroll

#cats #cheshire-cat #madness #dog

In this world . . . It's Heaven when: The French are chefs The British are police The Germans are engineers The Swiss are bankers And the Italians are lovers It's Hell when: The English are chefs The Germans are police The French are engineers The Swiss are lovers And the Italians are bankers. ↗

— Hidekaz Himaruya

#chefs #engineers #heaven #hell #hetalia

The time has come," the walrus said, "to talk of many things: Of shoes and ships - and sealing wax - of cabbages and kings ↗

— Lewis Carroll

#carpenter #poem #walrus #walrus-and-the-carpenter #king

Twas brillig, and the slithy toves Did gyre and gimble in the wabe: All mimsy were the borogoves, And the mome raths outgrabe. ↗

— Lewis Carroll

#carroll #jabberwock #jabberwocky #lewis #wonderland

They're so broke that they've actually cut essential services. In many places, they've cut policemen, because, who the fuck needs them? Or firemen, son of a bitch, it's much more fun watching something burn down. ↗

— Lewis Black

#budget #comedy #economy #fire #police