#lever

Why is abbreviation such a long word? ↗

— Teresa Monachino

#funny #teresa-monachino #wordplay #words-fail-me #funny

Quite a lot is a large amount but quite a few is also a large amount. ↗

— Teresa Monachino

#funny #teresa-monachino #wordplay #words-fail-me #funny

I hate when I'm at the grocery store and the person checking me out asks, "Paper or plastic?" It's offensive. As if I'm going to sleep with her just because she has a clever pick up line. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #grocery-store #humor #paper-or-plastic #funny

I'm stupid. I can never think of something... ↗

— Piedad Ornelas

#humor #retard #sisters-in-crime #stupidity #humor

His father was an ass and he is an ass. I imagine sooner than I should like I shall be playing uncle to a litter of asses. ↗

— T.A. Miles

#clever #dry-humor #fantasy #uncle #wit

When you're at the end of your rope, tie a knot and hold on ↗

— Theodore Roosevelt

#desperation #hope #inspiration #misattributed #tenacity

What I stand for is what I stand on. ↗

— Wendell Berry

#inspirational #inspirational

To be heroic is to be courageous enough to die for something; to be inspirational is to be crazy enough to live a little. ↗

— Criss Jami

#courage #courageous #crazy #death #definition

A stupid man's report of what a clever man says can never be accurate, because he unconsciously translates what he hears into something he can understand. ↗

— Bertrand Russell

#cleverness #intelligence #smart #stupidity #understanding

Passion often makes a madman of the cleverest man, and renders the greatest fools clever. ↗

— François de La Rochefoucauld

#foolishness #intelligence #madness #passion #intelligence