#leprechaun

If I had eyebrows like two rainbows, I’d probably make love like a leprechaun. But it’s cool, because with that pot of gold, I’d have plenty of money to pay the prostitute.
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— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #eyebrows #funny #gold #humor

I don't care what you Yanks say, cheese should not whiz. ↗

— Janette Rallison

#cheese-whiz #food #humor #leprechaun #food

O, sir,' murmured Sheila, still on her knees, 'please forgive me.' 'Forgive you! 0, la, la, la!' cunningly cried the droll, and strutting like an actor. 'Forgiveness is easy, is it not? O, yes, it is nothing. You are a young woman full of pride. O. yes! - but that is nothing. And full of penitence, and that is nothing, too. Pride is nothing, penitence nothing, forgiveness nothing, but even a bargain in farthings must be paid to be made, and I am a plain business man. What costs nothing brings no balm, and you would not like that, you would not like that, now would you?' (“The Bogey Man”) ↗

— A.E. Coppard

#fairy #fay #forgiveness #imp #leprechaun

I asked her, dreamily, if we had met, and when she told me that we had not, I gave her a little finger wave, the type a leprechaun might offer a pixie who was floating by on a maple leaf. "Well, hi there," I whispered. ↗

— David Sedaris

#dream #drugs #hello #leprechaun #pixie

If love were a dolphin with wings and a unicorn’s horn, being ridden by a blind leprechaun dressed like Rasputin, would you believe in second chances for love at first sight? ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#dolphin #funny #humor #leprechaun #love

I am Shiloh, whose box you stole. Your godmother's sickness lies in your own keeping, you can heal her in a moment. Make me your slave, and I must do your will.' 'You can do this,' Sheila said, 'without my taking a gift from you; you are wise and skilled. O do it, sir, and I will bless your name for ever.' 'Pooh! what is the good of that?' said he. 'No, I serve a master, the King of Kings, but we are emptiness itself without your mortal alloy. Do as I bid and I will serve you like a queen. And if you fear me you have only to put me to sleep and I shall sleep for seven hundred years.' 'No,' said the tempted girl slowly, 'not even for godmother can I do this; you are full of evil. Lies, lies! Why do you lie so?' 'O,' Shiloh said, 'because I am weary, and dissimulation is stimulation.' 'I don't understand that.' 'Well, it is so.' He yawned and yawned. 'Besides, I am the Other Side of things. All you think good may be bad, all you think bad may be good.' 'And I don't understand that.' Shiloh replied: 'Strong meat for men and lily buds for maids; did Ajax feed on apples?' 'I beg your pardon, sir,' said Sheila. ("The Bogey Man") ↗

— A.E. Coppard

#fairy #fay #good-bad #imp #leprechaun

It was never just about the money. ↗

— Kathy Bryson

#fantasy #feeling-lucky #leprechaun #romance #satire

Magic Sandra’s seen a leprechaun, Eddie touched a troll, Laurie danced with witches once, Charlie found some goblins gold. Donald heard a mermaid sing, Susy spied an elf, But all the magic I have known I've had to make myself. ↗

— Shel Silverstein

#goblin #humor #leprechaun #life #magic

I'll show you an imaginative re-creation, my fist imaginatively re-creating your fucken face for starters. ↗

— Neil Gaiman

#drunk #leprechaun #imagination

My two favorite colors of the rainbow are gold and leprechaun. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#gold #humor #leprechaun #rainbow #funny