#lemony

Friends can make you feel that the world is smaller and less sneaky than it really is, because you know people who have similar experiences. ↗

— Lemony Snicket

#inspirational #lemony-snicket #experience

Money is like a child—rarely unaccompanied. When it disappears, look to those who were supposed to be keeping an eye on it while you were at the grocery store. You might also look for someone who has a lot of extra children sitting around, with long, suspicious explanations for how they got there. ↗

— Lemony Snicket

#lemony-snicket #money #occupy-wall-street #money

It looked like something the Hemlock needed, or a piece of equipment a plumber had left behind. It looked like none of your business. ↗

— Lemony Snicket

#business

Are you ready?" Klaus asked finally. "No," Sunny answered. "Me neither," Violet said, "but if we wait until we're ready we'll be waiting for the rest of our lives, Let's go. ↗

— Lemony Snicket

#ersatz-elevator #lemony-snicket #waiting #courage

What a schmuck! ↗

— Lemony Snicket

#funny #kids-lit #lemony-snickets #series-of-unfortunate-events #funny

If you were smart," Genghis said, "you would have borrowed the silverware of one of your friends." "We never thought of that," Klaus said. When one is forced to tell atrocious lies, one often feels a guilty flutter in one's stomach, and Klaus felt such a flutter now. "You certainly are an intelligent man." "Not only am I intelligent," Genghis agreed, "but I'm also very smart. ↗

— Lemony Snicket

#clever #count-olaf #funny-humor #intelligent #lemony-snicket

I will love you as a drawer loves a secret compartment, and as a secret compartment loves a secret, and as a secret loves to make a person gasp, and as a gasping person loves a glass of brandy to calm their nerves, and as a glass of brandy loves to shatter on the floor, and as a noise of glass shattering loves to make someone else gasp, and as someone else gasping loves a nearby desk to lean against, and if leaning against it presses a lever that loves to open a drawer and reveal a secret compartment. I will love you until all such compartments are discovered and opened, and until all the secrets have gone gasping into the world. I will love you until all the codes and hearts have been broken and until every anagram and egg has been unscrambled. ↗

— Lemony Snicket

#love

Tea should be as bitter as wormwod and as sharp as a two eged sword Kit Snicket (a series of unfortunate events) ↗

— Lemony Snicket

#humor #lemony-snicket #series-of-unfortunate-events #tea #funny

Literature doesn’t exactly have a strong mental-health track record. ↗

— Lemony Snicket

#humor #lemony-snicket #funny

If you don’t care about something, one way to demonstrate your feelings is to say the word and then repeat the word with the letters S-C-H-M replacing the first letters. Somebody who didn’t care about dentists, for instance could say ‘Dentist, schmentists. ↗

— Lemony Snicket

#lemony-snicket #schm #humor