#lee

Gabe?" The newchild stirred slightly in his sleep. Jonas looked over at him. "There could be love", Jonas whispered. ↗

— Lois Lowry

#sleep #stirred #whispered #love

On Ecstasy, Joan Rivers looks like Pamela Anderson, so imagine what Pamela Anderson looked like. ↗

— Tommy Lee

#imagination

It turns out, Holder doesn’t have an issue with Mormons at all. He just has an issue with assholes. ↗

— Colleen Hoover

#colleen-hoover #dean-holder #funny #hopeless #sky-and-holder

I had a dream about you last night. The best day of my life was when I taught you how to juggle, but the best day of yours was when you taught someone else. ↗

— Michael Summers

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

I’m the sexiest of them all! - Carol ↗

— Matthew Leeth

#funny #horror #matthew-leeth #me #she-was-different

Mass narcolepsy is one of the more fortunate side effects of profundity. It ensures everyone will have a singular awareness of life that won’t overlap with yours. ↗

— Bauvard

#humor #narcolepsy #profundity #sleeping #funny

The phone rang. I picked it up. "Kate Daniels" "It's me," Curran said. "I—" I hung up. ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#ilona-andrews

I’m not good at talking. Can’t I just nod my way through a conversation? It’s better than nodding off. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#conversation #conversations #humor #nod #nodding-off

I paused with the pen in my hand. "He burst into flames?" "He became engulfed in fire." "Was his buddy made out of orange rocks and at any point yell, 'It's clobbering time'? ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#ilona-andrews #kate #magic-bleeds #ilona-andrews

The alarm in the morning? Well, I have an old tape of Carlo Maria Giulini conducting the Vienna Philharmonic Orchestra in a perfectly transcendent version in Shubert's seventh symphony. And I've rigged it up so that at exactly 7:30 every morning it falls from the ceiling onto my face. ↗

— Stephen Fry

#carlo-maria-giulini #humor #mornings #music #schubert