#lan

Cara waggled a hand over the two of them. "It works better with your clothes off." Richard frowned. His voice came as a hoarse croak. "What?" She seemed mystified by the question. "I believe you will find such things work better without clothes." She put her hands to her hips. "I thought you would know at least that much. ↗

— Terry Goodkind

#clothes #humor #kahlan #richard #sex

Cara burst into a hearty laugh. She clapped Richard on the back as he walked passed. "I like her, Lord Rahl. You may keep her. ↗

— Terry Goodkind

#humor #kahlan #richard #humor

Neither claimed any responsibility for Milton Keynes, but both reported it as a success. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#humor #milton-keynes #humor

You should go into every relationship as a brick and not a blanket. ↗

— Nicole McKay

#brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #humor #random

A brick could be dropped on your mother-in-law’s head from the height of 66.6 feet. You know, as a going away present. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket #funny #humor #random #strange

You need to play to your strengths as a couple. Sharing is really awesome when you're messing around with Play-Doh in kindergarten. It's less awesome when you're adults and one of you is good at something and the other person sucks at it. So just let the more skilled person take the reins. ↗

— Peter Scott

#marriage-advice #planning #humor

Everyone wants a piece of you. The trick is what piece to give. ↗

— Solange nicole

#humor #life #people #selfishness #society

You bruised my ego, you see, and there’s just not enough money in the world to soothe my ego when it gets bruised ↗

— Jennifer Estep

#finnegan-lane #humor #humor

Aw, kiss him, Gwen, clamored a hundred perky eggs. Shut up, she rebuked. We don't even know him, and until moments ago we thought he was dead. That's no way to start a relationship. ↗

— Karen Marie Moning

#eggs #gwen #humorous #karen-marie-moning #kiss

JACK That is nonsense. If I marry a charming girl like Gwendolen, and she is the only girl I ever saw in my life that I would marry, I certainly won't want to know Bunbury. ALGERNON Then your wife will. You don't seem to realize, that in married life three is company and two is none. JACK That, my dear young friend, is the theory that the corrupt French Drama has been propounding for the last fifty years. ALGERNON Yes; and that the happy English home has proved in half the time. ↗

— Oscar Wilde

#humor #marriage #humor