#lack

I like to write in poorly lit conditions. It allows darkness to creep into my humor, and bad eyesight to excuse me from accountability. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #writing #funny

The door to the situation room door opened, drawing her attention to a tall, lean man with eyes as sharp as razors. The sound of a metal chair scraping on the tile floor filled the room as Reed shot to his feet, stood at attention, and saluted crisply. The man stopped, scowled, and heaved a heavy sigh. "All right you clown. At ease. It hasn't been that long since I've been here." "Just showing my respect, sir," Reed said with a smart-ass grin. "It's not often we're fortunate enough to be in the company of such greatness. ↗

— Cindy Gerard

#boi-s #funny #laugh-out-loud #men-acting-like-boys #reed

Most of the laugh tracks on television were recorded in the early 1950’s. These days, most of the people you hear laughing are dead. ↗

— Chuck Palahniuk

#horror #trivia #humor

Marriage is not a process for prolonging the life of love, sir. It merely mummifies its corpse. ↗

— P.G. Wodehouse

#humor #lack-of-feeling #love #lovelessness #marriage

Just once" Blay said softly. "Do it just once. So I'll know what it's like. ↗

— J.R. Ward

#qhuinn-and-blay #black-dagger-brotherhood

Color is the overpowering of black; white – the final victory over black. ↗

— Dejan Stojanovic

#color #dejan-stojanovic #final #final-vctory #literature

Courtesy of their tempers, both were now dressed in the Captain Asshole costume—which included, for no extra charge, the cape of disgrace, the booties of shame, and keys to the Fuck Up mobile. ↗

— J.R. Ward

#humor #tohrment #humor

For fuck's sake, get off the cross. Someone else needs the wood. ↗

— J.R. Ward

#phury #zsadist #black-dagger-brotherhood

A book unopened alters not the ink on it's pages ↗

— J.R. Ward

#black-dagger-brotherhood

The warrior (Zsadist) rolled his black eyes. "Come on, man. What does it matter to me? You, Tohr. Britney Spears. ↗

— J.R. Ward

#dark-lover #black-dagger-brotherhood