#lack

Blackouts can be fun if approached with the right mindset. You just can't sweat the fact that you've lost a small portion of your life for all eternity. Occasionally, little bubbles of memory will float up like surreal Mylar party balloons at unexpected times throughout the net day and start piecing together a colorful, if incomplete, version of reality. ↗

— Josh Kilmer-Purcell

#alcoholism #blackout #drugs #funny #humor

... a man doesn't like to have his ego popped, especially when he prides himself on his sagacity, and then to be proved wrong by a man who claims he doesn't know anything. ↗

— E.A. Bucchianeri

#dark-humor #ego #egotism #egotist #funny

The door to the situation room door opened, drawing her attention to a tall, lean man with eyes as sharp as razors. The sound of a metal chair scraping on the tile floor filled the room as Reed shot to his feet, stood at attention, and saluted crisply. The man stopped, scowled, and heaved a heavy sigh. "All right you clown. At ease. It hasn't been that long since I've been here." "Just showing my respect, sir," Reed said with a smart-ass grin. "It's not often we're fortunate enough to be in the company of such greatness. ↗

— Cindy Gerard

#boi-s #funny #laugh-out-loud #men-acting-like-boys #reed

Most of the laugh tracks on television were recorded in the early 1950’s. These days, most of the people you hear laughing are dead. ↗

— Chuck Palahniuk

#horror #trivia #humor

For fuck's sake, get off the cross. Someone else needs the wood. ↗

— J.R. Ward

#phury #zsadist #black-dagger-brotherhood

A book unopened alters not the ink on it's pages ↗

— J.R. Ward

#black-dagger-brotherhood

The warrior (Zsadist) rolled his black eyes. "Come on, man. What does it matter to me? You, Tohr. Britney Spears. ↗

— J.R. Ward

#dark-lover #black-dagger-brotherhood

I thought I was a fool for no one; But ooh baby I'm a fool for you; You're the queen of the superficial; how long before you tell the truth? ↗

— Matthew J. Bellamy

#song-lyrics #supermassive-black-hole #song-lyrics

What's that?" he snarled, staring at the envelope Harry was still clutching in his hand. "If it's another form for me to sign, you've got another -" "It's not," said Harry cheerfully. "It's a letter from my godfather." "Godfather?" sputtered Uncle Vernon. "You haven't got a godfather!" "Yes, I have," said Harry brightly. "He was my mum and dad's best friend. He's a convicted murderer, but he's broken out of wizard prison and he's on the run. He likes to keep in touch with me, though...keep up with my news...check if I'm happy.... ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#godfather #harry-potter #humor #sirius-black #humor

Where were all the women gamblers? It wasn't as if being a woman wasn't a huge risk all by itself. Twenty-eight percent of female homocide victims were killed by husbands or lovers. Which, come to think of it, was probably why there weren't any women gamblers. Living with men was enough of a gamble. ↗

— Jennifer Crusie

#gambling #humor