#lack

I was waiting at table tonight, on account of it being such a big party, and just as I was coming round with the savoury, one of the ladies went and broke her necklace by fidgeting with it at the ta ble. She thought she picked 'em all up but this one rolled under my foot and I stood on it tight until all the ladies went upstairs. I wanted to give it to you. You're a black pearl, Bertha, that's what you are and it's only right that you should have it. ↗

— Daisy Goodwin

#black-pearl #coloured #heiress #love #maid

Man, it was a good thing vampires didn't get cancer. Lately he'd been chain-smoking like a felon. ↗

— J.R. Ward

#cancer #humor #life #smoking #humor

That scent she threw off was not anything by Chanel. Unless they’d recently added a Tragedy line. ↗

— J.R. Ward

#humor #humor

So why did you want to kiss me?" "We're friends aren't we?" Callum shrugged. I relaxed into a smile. "Of course we are." "And if you can't kiss your friends who can you kiss?" Callum smiled. ↗

— Malorie Blackman

#humor #innocent #malorie-blackman #noughts-and-crosses #sephy

Jazz hadn't given her many details of exactly what life in the Dent house had been like, but he'd told her enough that she knew it wasn't hearts and flowers. Well, except for the occasional heart cut from a chest. And the kind of flowers you send to funerals. ↗

— Barry Lyga

#humor

I'm going to stay here and see if he comes back," Wrath said as the double doors opened and V strode in. "I want the rest of you out searching for him in the city, but before you go, first let's get an update from our very own Katie Couric." He nodded at Vishous. "Katie?" V's glare was the ocular version of a fully extended middle finger ↗

— J.R. Ward

#humor #wrath #humor

Don't live with writers. Writers are bastards. ↗

— Warren Ellis

#humor

Didn't anyone tell you that size doesn't matter?" "Yes, but I told him to put his pants back on and go home. ↗

— Christine Warren

#humorous #humor

Gallows humor is part of having a doctor in the house. Deal with it. ↗

— J.R. Ward

#humor #lover-enshrined #medicine #humor

Self-esteem is for sissies. Accept that you're a pimple and try to keep a lively sense of humor about it. That way lies grace - and maybe even glory. ↗

— Tom Robbins

#humor