#l

Like sheep, sidhe-seers herd by nature, until you *want* them to go somewhere. Then they're all fluffy bottoms and broken. ↗

— Karen Marie Moning

#humor #humor

In my day the principal concerns of university students were sex, smoking dope, rioting and learning. Learning was something you did only when the first three weren't available. ↗

— Bill Bryson

#learning #students #humor

Can't you just like a girl who likes you back?' 'None of them likes me back. I may as well like the one I really want. ↗

— Rainbow Rowell

#high-school #humor #love #humor

Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much. They were the last people you'd expect to be involved in anything strange or mysterious, because they just didn't hold with such nonsense. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#humor #opening-lines #funny

Make-up? What happened? You look almost female." "Thanks. You look almost straight. ↗

— Susan Elizabeth Phillips

#one-liners #humor

Sucks to be left out of adolescence, sort of like getting locked in the closet on Venus when the sun appears for the first time in a hundred years. ↗

— Junot Díaz

#humor #nerdiness #ray-bradbury #science-fiction #humor

Unfortunately this Electric Monk had developed a fault, and had started to believe all kinds of things, more or less at random. It was even beginning to believe things they'd have difficulty believing in Salt Lake City. ↗

— Douglas Adams

#humor #mormonism #religion #robot #humor

SHAKE AND BAKE!!!!!!! ↗

— Ricky Bobby

#taladaga-nights #humor

It's a philosophical minefield!" Cabal had a brief mental image of Aristotle walking halfway across an open field before unexpectedly disappearing in a fireball. Descartes and Nietzsche looked on appalled. He pulled himself together. ↗

— Jonathan L. Howard

#philosophy #humor

See? That’s it,” he said, waving his hand. “That’s part of what makes us so great, Luce. I’m crazy. You’re crazy. Together, we make our own brand of crazy. ↗

— Nicole Williams

#humorous #humor