#ky

I’m trying to decide whether to tell you two to get a room or go barf in the trash can,” Emma said. “I’m leaning toward the second choice. You are both getting way too weird. And gross.” Cal barked out a laugh and slid his fingers down my arm to entwine with mine. His touch, and Emma’s comments, only made me blush more. Looks like Emma saw Cal lick my face after all. Now that wasn’t awkward or anything. ↗

— E.J. Stevens

#emma #funny #legend-of-witchtrot-road #paranormal-romance #quirky

That's about as effective as a windshield wiper on a goat's ass. ↗

— Denise Tompkins

#humor #snarky-quotes #funny

I just like the idea of this creature or a being on the roof, you know? It's kind of spooky. ↗

— Will Sergeant

#creature #i #idea #just #kind

Fine, I'll teach you,' 'Besides, there's only so many times a girl wants to fall on her butt in front of the boy she's out to impress. ↗

— Joss Stirling

#sky #humor

It's because you're like that that you're still a virgin, you know. ↗

— Natsuki Takaya

#humor #kyo #manga #natsuki-takaya #uotani

Let me get you all some punch,” I said. “You're leaving us?” said Isabel, sounding panicky. “I'll be right back,” I promised. “If anyone comes near you, just scream and run. ↗

— Kenneth Oppel

#funny #humor #kate #matt #oppel

Individuality: ten. Cautiousness: three. Combativeness: nine." She looked over and gave me a wink. "Well, what did you expect from a pirate's daughter? Hope: eight. Amativeness. What's that?" Kate acutally blushed. "I think it has something to do with your attractiveness to the opposite sex." "Ten," said Nadira, smiling modestly. (Skybreaker by Kenneth Oppel) ↗

— Kenneth Oppel

#humour #nadira #skybreaker #humor

I've got a sweater.' Ben pulled off his coat and held it out for her. 'Here.' Thanks, Ben. It's lovely and warm.' Then she said, 'Ben, I-- I can tell you how I feel about-- about everything. I think you're the best friend I've ever had. I-- I'd lie down and die for you if you wanted me to.' Honey,' Ben said. 'When I get you to lie down for me it won't be to die. ↗

— Madeleine L'Engle

#spunky #humor

Czech beer in bottles is the corpse of real beer in a glass coffin. ↗

— Sergei Lukyanenko

#anton-gorodetsky #beer #humor #humor

There is a moment, just before I reach it that I consider going up through the lubber's hole because I'm wearing a dress, but I just can't do it. I go to the edge, do the flip over and land on the foretop. If anyone got a peek at my drawers, well, good for them, I hope they enjoyed it. ↗

— L.A. Meyer

#humor #jacky-faber #humor