#ky

That's about as effective as a windshield wiper on a goat's ass. ↗

— Denise Tompkins

#humor #snarky-quotes #funny

I just like the idea of this creature or a being on the roof, you know? It's kind of spooky. ↗

— Will Sergeant

#creature #i #idea #just #kind

Fine, I'll teach you,' 'Besides, there's only so many times a girl wants to fall on her butt in front of the boy she's out to impress. ↗

— Joss Stirling

#sky #humor

It's because you're like that that you're still a virgin, you know. ↗

— Natsuki Takaya

#humor #kyo #manga #natsuki-takaya #uotani

Let me get you all some punch,” I said. “You're leaving us?” said Isabel, sounding panicky. “I'll be right back,” I promised. “If anyone comes near you, just scream and run. ↗

— Kenneth Oppel

#funny #humor #kate #matt #oppel

Individuality: ten. Cautiousness: three. Combativeness: nine." She looked over and gave me a wink. "Well, what did you expect from a pirate's daughter? Hope: eight. Amativeness. What's that?" Kate acutally blushed. "I think it has something to do with your attractiveness to the opposite sex." "Ten," said Nadira, smiling modestly. (Skybreaker by Kenneth Oppel) ↗

— Kenneth Oppel

#humour #nadira #skybreaker #humor

I've got a sweater.' Ben pulled off his coat and held it out for her. 'Here.' Thanks, Ben. It's lovely and warm.' Then she said, 'Ben, I-- I can tell you how I feel about-- about everything. I think you're the best friend I've ever had. I-- I'd lie down and die for you if you wanted me to.' Honey,' Ben said. 'When I get you to lie down for me it won't be to die. ↗

— Madeleine L'Engle

#spunky #humor

Czech beer in bottles is the corpse of real beer in a glass coffin. ↗

— Sergei Lukyanenko

#anton-gorodetsky #beer #humor #humor

There is a moment, just before I reach it that I consider going up through the lubber's hole because I'm wearing a dress, but I just can't do it. I go to the edge, do the flip over and land on the foretop. If anyone got a peek at my drawers, well, good for them, I hope they enjoyed it. ↗

— L.A. Meyer

#humor #jacky-faber #humor

It’s always good to give respect, even when you might not feel it’s due. It serves two purposes in particular: one, you’ll soothe the angry beast, should the person have a temper—by visually and verbally submitting to their imagined authority, and; two, by displaying that you acknowledge their authority (especially if others don’t), you are likely to gain favor which can be used to your advantage. ↗

— Höbin Luckyfeller

#hobin-luckyfeller #jaime-buckley #wanted-hero #imagination