#king

There's a boy who they call Pony! He's always acting gross and horny! He thinks he's got a lot down there, but he sure wears tiny underwear! ↗

— Cecily von Ziegesar

#humor

I did several interesting jobs, working in restaurants, I worked at a lab rat farm, feeding and watering all these rats. Then I got a full-time job as a technical writer for a large scientific research laboratory. ↗

— Kevin J. Anderson

#farm #feeding #full-time #full-time job #got

I wanted the feel in these books to be like an epic fantasy, with kings, queens, dukes and court politics, but of course like what I was explaining before, about making the science make sense, you have to make the politics make sense, too. ↗

— Kevin J. Anderson

#before #books #course #court #dukes

People like us, we think differently, don't we? We are different. We do all the things that others do. But when it comes down to it, we don't need anyone else. We're happy doing what we do and having obligation interferes with that. And sometimes I think we don't even need ourselves. What's most important is to find out whether we're right or not. ↗

— Simon Morden

#obligation #reflection #righteousness #self-discovery #self-esteem

I think I speak for all of us when I say, "Huh? ↗

— Frank Beddor

#humor #the-looking-glass-wars #humor

Glasses are for people that sips instead of drinks. ↗

— Kai Starr

#drinking #humor #humor

Even Tom Sawyer had a girlfriend and to talk about adults without talking about their sex drives is like talking about a window without glass. ↗

— Grace Metalious

#drives #even #girlfriend #glass #had

Hiking with your feelings exposed to the sun might give you heartburn. And even if you protect yourself by going on midnight strolls, you could trip over your high expectations in the dark. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #heartburn #hiking #humor #walking

Carlisle says Siobhan's super power was the ability to do whatever the hell she wanted. I swear, that's what Carlisle says. Her super power was the ability to will something into existence. Siobhan wanted the vampire Maggie to stick around with her and Liam, and, POOF, Maggie did, all because Siobhan wanted it. Dr. Cullen theorizes that Bella has a similar power. She's not acting like a typical newborn vampire because Bella decided not to be a typical newborn vampire. That thud you heard was my brain trying to make a run for it and slamming into my skull. Also, you may hear soft weeping. I'm still crying. ↗

— Dan Bergstein

#humor #parody #humor

If you think things can't get any worse, you have no imagination and no sense of history. ↗

— John S. Hall

#king-missile #humor