#kin

I said, "I'll take the T-bone steak." A soft voice mooed, "Oh wow." And I looked up and realized The waitress was a cow. I cried, "Mistake--forget the the steak. I'll take the chicken then." I heard a cluck--'twas just my luck The busboy was a hen. I said, "Okay no, fowl today. I'll have the seafood dish." Then I saw through the kitchen door The cook--he was a fish. I screamed, "Is there anyone workin' here Who's an onion or a beet? No? Your're sure? Okay then friends, A salad's what I'll eat." They looked at me. "Oh,no," they said, "The owner is a cabbage head. ↗

— Shel Silverstein

#cooking

It's really not as bad as it sounds. I was attacked by a shark once, back when I was alive. Well, not so much a shark as a rather large fish. And not so much attacked as looked at menacingly. But it had murder in its eyes, that fish. I knew, in that instant, if our roles had been reversed and the fish had been holding the fishing pole and I had been the one to be caught, it wouldn't hesitate a moment before eating me. So I cooked it and ate before it had a chance to turn the tables. ↗

— Derek Landy

#cooking

Travelers, there is no path, paths are made by walking. ↗

— Antonio Machado

#path #paths #travelers #walking

The human mind works at low efficiency. Twenty percent is the figure usually given. When, momentarily, there is a flash of greater power, it is termed a hunch, or insight, or intuition. ↗

— Isaac Asimov

#intuition

The Paradoxical Commandments People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered. Love them anyway. If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives. Do good anyway. If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies. Succeed anyway. The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway. Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable. Be honest and frank anyway. The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds. Think big anyway. People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs. Fight for a few underdogs anyway. What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight. Build anyway. People really need help but may attack you if you do help them. Help people anyway. Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth. Give the world the best you have anyway. © Copyright Kent M. Keith 1968, renewed 2001 ↗

— Kent M. Keith

#goodness #happiness #honesty #kindness #misattributed-to-mother-teresa

They didn't understand, for we were Shakespeare, and they were mere actors in the play. ↗

— Cassandra Giovanni

#walking-in-the-shadows #ya-romance #ya-thriller #thriller

it provokes the desire, but it takes away the performance ↗

— William Shakespeare

#drinking #alcohol

Scotch whisky is made from barley and the morning dew on angel's nipples. ↗

— Warren Ellis

#drinking #whisky #alcohol

Always remember, that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. ↗