#ka

How did you do it?" I brought the teacup to my mouth for another sip. "How did you guide Sophie's soul? I thought you were a reaper." "He's both," Nash said from behind me, and I turned just as he followed my father through the front door, pulling his long sleeves down one at a time. He and my dad had just loaded Aunt Val's white silk couch into the back of my uncle's truck, so he wouldn't have to deal with the bloodstains when he and Sohie got back from the hospital. "Tod is very talented." Tod brushed the curl back from his face and scowled. Harmony spoke up from the kitchen as the oven door squealed open. "Both my boys are talented." "Both?" I repeated, sure I'd heard her wrong. Nash sighed and slid onto the chair his mother had vacated, then gestured toward the reaper with one hand. "Kaylee, meet my brother, Tod. ↗

— Rachel Vincent

#kaylee #tod #totally-unexpected #funny

What have you done to your hair?” Mom’s broken voice said, pinning me back to this tiny hospital room. “Holy shit!” Icka patted her head as if searching. “You think the nurse stole it? She looked shady. ↗

— Phoebe Kitanidis

#humor #icka #kitanidis #phoebe #whisper

I should stalk over there and pee around his table to stake my claim. Wait...what? Jeez, Kacey. ↗

— K.A. Tucker

#kacey-trent #funny

I don’t like to brag or frighten, but I’ve got a black belt. And a brown one, which I sometimes wear with black slacks. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #karate #funny

He'd once explained that when he was a boy his very proper parents had forbidden him and his brothers to curse in the house so 'feather buckets' was the young boys coded way of saying 'f*ck it ↗

— Kate Carlisle

#funny #kate-carlisle #funny

You can take charge, kick ass, do whatever you have to do and it's okay. You can blow people up. These are things that are okay for cartoon characters to do. ↗

— Joan Severance

#blow #cartoon #cartoon characters #characters #charge

You dumb asshole,” Ross said to Nate.“You could be a freakin’ amoeba and you’d still be a brother. And the only reason I’m not throwing a punch right now is because you had such a dipshit upbringing you don’t get that. ↗

— Karina Bliss

#karina-bliss #home

We have just witnessed a classic example of what I like to call 'misdirected rage'. I believe the technical term is being an ass. ↗

— Natsuki Takaya

#humor #manga #natsuki-takaya #shigure #humor

I ripped my left arm out of his hand and slammed my elbow into his solar plexus. He exhaled in a gasp. I lunged for the dagger and sat on top of him, my knees pinning his arms, my dagger on his throat. He lay still. “I give up,” he said and smiled. “Your move.” Er. I was sitting atop the Beast Lord in my underwear, holding a knife to his throat. What the hell was my next move? ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#humor #kate #humor

Did you read the part that says, 'Your hair is like a flock of goats'? How romantic is that? Or that other line, 'Your neck is like the tower of David.' Oh, now, that sounds real attractive! If some guy tried those lines on me, I'm sure I'd fall instantly in love with him. ↗

— Robin Jones Gunn

#christy-miller #humor #katie #pick-up-lines #humor