#ka

I ripped my left arm out of his hand and slammed my elbow into his solar plexus. He exhaled in a gasp. I lunged for the dagger and sat on top of him, my knees pinning his arms, my dagger on his throat. He lay still. “I give up,” he said and smiled. “Your move.” Er. I was sitting atop the Beast Lord in my underwear, holding a knife to his throat. What the hell was my next move? ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#humor #kate #humor

Did you read the part that says, 'Your hair is like a flock of goats'? How romantic is that? Or that other line, 'Your neck is like the tower of David.' Oh, now, that sounds real attractive! If some guy tried those lines on me, I'm sure I'd fall instantly in love with him. ↗

— Robin Jones Gunn

#christy-miller #humor #katie #pick-up-lines #humor

Rachel knew what she was doing. And when she didn't, she could improvise on the fly, coming up with options that left a lot of collateral damage but usually only hurt herself, not the people around her. It was one of the things he would never admit that he admired about her. ↗

— Kim Harrison

#into-the-woods #jenks #paranormal #rachel-morgan #romance

It's because you're like that that you're still a virgin, you know. ↗

— Natsuki Takaya

#humor #kyo #manga #natsuki-takaya #uotani

Let me get you all some punch,” I said. “You're leaving us?” said Isabel, sounding panicky. “I'll be right back,” I promised. “If anyone comes near you, just scream and run. ↗

— Kenneth Oppel

#funny #humor #kate #matt #oppel

Go play your games with Jim. I'll find you both when I need you." Arrogant asshole. "I tell you what, if you find us before those three days run out, I'll cook you a damn dinner and serve it to you naked." "Is that a promise?" "Yes. Go fuck yourself. ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#flirting #humor #kate-daniels #magic-strikes #humor

Don't tell me you fell something for the little . . . oh.' The vampire blinked, then curled his lip back, disgust and pity crossing his sharp features. 'Oh, sister. Really? That's just sad. ↗

— Julie Kagawa

#jackal #humor

...When a man first awakens, it sometimes takes several moments before he starts thinking clearly." "And here I thought it took several years, perhaps a lifetime for the average man's intellect to kick in. ↗

— Karen Marie Moning

#gwen #humor #intellect #karen-marie-moning #kiss-of-the-highlander

Yoh: Being popular with guys isn't something you can just stitch together! Haruna: What?! I Can't?! Yoh: OF COURSE NOT! Yoh: Mixing coke, tea and orange juice would taste nasty, right?! That's exactly what you're doing! ↗

— Kazune Kawahara

#humor #kazune-kawahara #popularity #yoh #humor

I had made her so unhappy that she had developed a sense of humor. [-Rabo Karabekian] ↗

— Kurt Vonnegut

#rabo-karebekian #wife #wives #humor