#k

So, please, oh please, we beg, we pray, go throw your TV set away, and in its place you can install, a lovely bookcase on the wall. ↗

— Roald Dahl

#humor #television #humor

Investigation?" Isabelle laughed. "Now we're detectives? Maybe we should all have code names." "Good idea," said Jace. "I shall be Baron Hotschaft Von Hugenstein. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#investigation #isabelle-lightwood #jace-wayland #joke #humor

If writers wrote as carelessly as some people talk, then adhasdh asdglaseuyt[bn[ pasdlgkhasdfasdf. ↗

— Lemony Snicket

#talking #writers #humor

You here to finish me off, Sweetheart? ↗

— Suzanne Collins

#hunger-games #katniss #mellark #peeta #romance

Finally, from so little sleeping and so much reading, his brain dried up and he went completely out of his mind. ↗

— Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra

#humor #reading #humor

It's not gray," Clary felt compelled to point out. "It's green." "If there was such a thing as terminal literalism, you'd have died in childhood," said Jace. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#gray-book #humor #jace #humor

The real story of the Fleece: there were these two children of Zeus, Cadmus and Europa, okay? They were about to get offered up as human sacrifices, when they prayed to Zeus to save them. So Zeus sent this magical flying ram with golden wool, which picked them up in Greece and carried them all the way to Colchis in Asia Minor. Well, actually it carried Cadmus. Europa fell off and died along the way, but that's not important." "It was probably important to her. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#gold #humor #percy-jackson #humor

Despite my ghoulish reputation, I really have the heart of a small boy. I keep it in a jar on my desk. ↗

— Robert Bloch

#humor

An Unbreakable Vow?" said Ron, looking stunned. "Nah, he can’t have.... Are you sure?" "Yes I’m sure," said Harry. "Why, what does it mean?" "Well, you can’t break an Unbreakable Vow..." "I’d worked that much out for myself, funnily enough. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#humor #malfoy #ron-weasley #snape #unbreakable-vow

Confidence is ignorance. If you're feeling cocky, it's because there's something you don't know. ↗

— Eoin Colfer

#humor #ignorance #knowledge #humor