#k

Dont ruin my balls!" She laughs as the words leave her mouth. Better yours than mine, chica." I toss the dough balls at her, one by one, until I've got none left. ↗

— Simone Elkeles

#humor #kiara #humor

Because this absolutely insane - the craziest thing I'd ever done. Worse than giving a one-star review, scarier than asking for an interview with an author I'd give my firstborn to eat lunch with, more stupid than kissing Daemon. ↗

— Jennifer L. Armentrout

#humor #humor

You don't happen to have a thousand dollars I can borrow?" "I don't have five you can borrow. My piggy bank is officialy anorexic. ↗

— Becca Fitzpatrick

#like-me #vee #humor

No brain at all, some of them [people], only grey fluff that's blown into their heads by mistake, and they don't Think. ↗

— A.A. Milne

#eeyore #humor #thinking #thoughts #winnie-the-pooh

No single thing abides; and all things are fucked up. ↗

— Philip K. Dick

#humor #postmodern #humor

That's it, cupcake. You're going down. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#humor #trash-talk #humor

Get there early because hope does not park your mother-fucking car. ↗

— Jon Stewart

#obama #parking #humor

The most important things to do in the world are to get something to eat, something to drink and somebody to love you. ↗

— Brendan Behan

#eat #get #important #important things #love

The meeting was like a war council with donuts. Then again, back at Camp Half-Blood they used to have their most serious discussions around the Ping-Pong table in the rec room with crackers and Cheez Whiz, so Percy felt right at home. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#humor #percy-jackson #percy-jackson-and-the-olympians #the-mark-of-athena #war-council

You know how it is when you're reading a book and falling asleep, you're reading, reading... and all of a sudden you notice your eyes are closed? I'm like that all the time. ↗

— Steven Wright

#humor #reading #humor