#jokes

My dog was with me all the time. I talked to my dog. She was my best buddy. I shared all my secrets with her, but I don't think I every really tried jokes out with the dog. ↗

— Cathy Guisewite

#buddy #dog #every #her #i

I grew up in an environment of jokes and sarcasm and puns. I talk that way, so I write that way. ↗

— Allan Sloan

#grew #i #i write #jokes #puns

What's so unpleasant about being drunk?" "Ask a glass of water! ↗

— Douglas Adams

#humour #jokes #humour

There's a few tunes of mine that don't have jokes, but most of them have a joke and they have a humorous point of view somewhere. ↗

— Mose Allison

#humorous #joke #jokes #mine #most

I reserve the right to tell shaggy dog stories or even common jokes as part of what I'm doing. I don't give a damn if half the audience walks out. ↗

— David Antin

#common #damn #dog #doing #even

All of my jokes were about not being able to meet anybody. I didn't have any insight into anything - even my own insecurities. ↗

— Judd Apatow

#about #any #anybody #anything #being

I keep getting these people at my shows who only know me from television. I can always tell when they're, like, emotionally flinching when I start doing my jokes. ↗

— Dave Attell

#doing #emotionally #flinching #getting #i

When you have a couple hundred people in one huge space, that's gonna lead to jokes and it's a breeding ground for practical jokes and teasing. ↗

— Erin Duffy

#couple #gonna #ground #huge #hundred

One of the jokes on our flight is that, if we have a normal entry day going, the plan is for me... to actually take the orbiter first and fly it for maybe 10 or 15 seconds and then hand it on over to Scooter. ↗

— Duane G. Carey

#day #entry #first #flight #fly

I'm a fun person. I like cracking jokes and being completely nerdy. ↗

— Helena Christensen

#completely #cracking #fun #i #jokes