#joke

We all have, in my family, what we call the 'Vorderman bottom' - a sticky out, bigger-than-normal, signature, of the rear variety. It's been a family joke all our lives - even my lovely brother has one. I know the lines to all the good singalong big bum songs. ↗

— Carol Vorderman

#big #bottom #brother #bum #call

And I admit it: there's a rather dirty thrill when 700 people laugh at a joke you've written. ↗

— Laura Wade

#dirty #i #joke #laugh #people

I have an airplane hangar with 17 cars in it. That's no joke. I have a 'half pipe' in there, too - you know, like a big ramp, where I skateboard. It's awesome. It's the ultimate fantasy. ↗

— Paul Walker

#awesome #big #cars #fantasy #half

I joke with my kids, who love history, that I'll be the only governor to be elected twice in his first term. ↗

— Scott Walker

#first #governor #his #history #i

It's easier not to make a particular joke in case it offends. But every joke will offend someone, and I've always believed that the audience is bigger than one person. The danger is that things will become bland. ↗

— David Walliams

#audience #become #believed #bigger #bland

A lot of the jokes had some build-up to some nasty stuff. But most of it was all character situations leading to what the ultimate payoff would be for that character. ↗

— Shawn Wayans

#character #had #jokes #leading #lot

The whole westward expansion myth is seen as romantic. But it's a joke, a blot on American history. ↗

— Frank Waters

#american history #blot #expansion #history #joke

Character is character and voice is voice, which translates nicely from writing novels to writing TV. But the process is different. You have a writer's room, people pitch you jokes and you collaborate. ↗

— Jennifer Weiner

#collaborate #different #jokes #nicely #novels

We combine our three packs of pasta for dinner – pesto. We tip the dried stuff into a pan, add water and simmer. We try it, looking at each other with disbelief as it hits the tastebuds. ‘It’s pesto, Jim, but not as we know it,’ I say. ‘Fascinating,’ says Lou, unsmiling humouring my Star Trek reference, while wincing at the foul food. (And what made me say that? Is there such a thing as a dad-joke vacuum that needs to be filled, even in the wild?) ↗

— Fiona Wood

#camping-food #dad-joke #dad-jokes #fiona-wood #food

Last Friday night, I Twitted a photograph of myself that I intended to send as a direct message as part of a joke to a woman in Seattle. Once I realized I posted to Twitter I panicked, I took it down and said that I had been hacked. I then continued with that story, to stick to that story which was a hugely regrettable mistake. ↗

— Anthony Weiner

#continued #direct #down #friday #friday night