#jeeves

Never mind," I said crisply. "I have my methods." I dug out my entire stock of manly courage, breathed a short prayer and let her have it right in the thorax. ↗

— P.G. Wodehouse

#jeeves #courage

She is very wonderful, Bertie. She is not one of these flippant, shallow-minded, modern girls. She is sweetly grave and beautifully earnest. She reminds me of - what is the name I want?" "Marie Lloyd?" "Saint Cecilia," said young Bingo, eyeing me with a good deal of loathing. "She reminds me of Saint Cecilia. She makes me yearn to be a better, nobler, deeper, broader man. ↗

— P.G. Wodehouse

#jeeves #beauty

Sheh walks in beauty like the night of cloudless climes and starry skies; and all that's best of dark and bright meet in her aspect and her eyes. Another bit of bread and cheese," he said to the lad behind the bar. ↗

— P.G. Wodehouse

#jeeves #beauty

Jeeves." "Sir?" "Are you busy just now?" "No, sir." "I mean, not doing anything in particular?" "No, sir. It is my practice at this hour to read some improving book; but, if you desire my services, this can easily be postponed, or, indeed, abandoned altogether. ↗

— P.G. Wodehouse

#jeeves #business

Jeeves," I said, "those spats." "Yes, sir?" "You really dislike them?" "Intensely, sir." "You don't think time might induce you to change your views?" "No, sir." "All right, then. Very well. Say no more. You may burn them." "Thank you very much, sir. I have already done so. Before breakfast this morning. A quiet grey is far more suitable, sir. Thank you, sir. ↗

— P.G. Wodehouse

#jeeves #change

I don’t know if you have had the same experience, but the snag I always come up against when I’m telling a story is this dashed difficult problem of where to begin it. ↗

— P.G. Wodehouse

#humour #jeeves #jeeves-and-wooster #wodehouse #wooster

We run to height a bit in our family, and there's about five-foot-nine of Aunt Agatha, topped off with a beaky nose, an eagle eye, and a lot of grey hair, and the general effect is pretty formidable. Anyway, it never even occurred to me for a moment to give her the miss-in-baulk on this occasion. If she said I must go to Roville, it was all over except buying the tickets. ↗

— P.G. Wodehouse

#jeeves #family

A ripe suggestion," I said. "Where are you meeting her? At the Ritz?" "Near the Ritz." He was geographically accurate. About fifty yards east of the Ritz there is one of those blighted tea-and-bun shops you see dotted about all over London and into this, if you'll believe me, young Bingo dived like a homing rabbit; and before I had time to say a word we were wedged in at a table, on the brink of a silent pool of coffee left there by an early luncher. ↗

— P.G. Wodehouse

#jeeves #home

She's a sort of human vampire-bat ↗

— P.G. Wodehouse

#humor #jeeves #wooster #humor

I say, Bertie," he said, after a pause of about an hour and a quarter. "Hallo!" "Do you like the name Mabel?" "No." "No?" "No." "You don't think there's a kind of music in the word, like the wind rustling gently through the tree-tops?" "No." He seemed disappointed for a moment; then cheered up. "Of course, you wouldn't. You always were a fat-headed worm without any soul, weren't you?" "Just as you say. Who is she? Tell me all. ↗

— P.G. Wodehouse

#jeeves #music