#jan

Why not? If you're not going to let me see you naked, we might as well be girlfriends." "You're a twisted little man." "Come on, Stretch, share with the class." "No!" I laughed. "Prude." "Perv." "Schoolmarm." "Some other word that essentially means perv. ↗

— Molly Harper

#funny #jane-jameson #molly-harper #nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs #perv

Get the point?" I asked, offering the boys a triumphant smile. Gabriel, Zeb, and Dick stared at me, aghast. "What? Sarcastic postkill comeback. Isn't that what you're supposed to do in situations like this? Too harsh? ↗

— Molly Harper

#funny #gabriel #jane-jameson #molly-harper #nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs

I always hoped for this spark of chemistry and compatibility, a flash of clarity to let me know that this was the guy, this was the time, so I should leg go and enjoy myself. But it never came. And by no small coincidence, neither did I. ↗

— Molly Harper

#coming #funny #jane-jameson #molly-harper #nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs

Jane Jameson." He grinned. "Like the porn star." I gaped at him. "What? No, Jane Jameson." "Oh, not as fun," he said, making disappointed clucking noises. ↗

— Molly Harper

#funny #jane-jameson #molly-harper #nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs #porn-star

I wanted to call you, but I find myself feeling...awkward when it comes to you." "'Awkward' is the word du jour," I agreed. "So, I make you nervous?" "Not quite nervous," he said. "Just unsettled." I wriggled my eyebrows and inched a little closer to him. "Unsettled, that's even better. ↗

— Molly Harper

#gabriel #jane-jameson #nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs #unsettled #funny

What was that?" Rich combined the pain of a crooked arm with the indignity of a flicked ear. I could only hope the situation didn't escalate to the dreaded purple nurple. ↗

— Molly Harper

#funny #jane-jameson #molly-harper #nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs #purple-nurple

Some vampires wouldn't react if you shoved a rosary down their pants, though I wouldn't recommend testing the theory. ↗

— Molly Harper

#jane-jameson #molly-harper #nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs #vampire #funny

I offered you a choice, and you took it." I shot him what I hoped was a truly scathing glare. "Some choice. I was dying. Some drunk shot me from a pickup. Why wouldn't I have just woken up with gonorrhea like every other girl of loose moral fiber? ↗

— Molly Harper

#funny #gabriel #gonorrhea #jane-jameson #molly-harper

I grabbed my purse, which was conveniently place by the front door. Gabriel was such a considerate abductor/host. He even left the front door unpadlocked. ↗

— Molly Harper

#gabriel #jane-jameson #molly-harper #nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs #funny

Don't worry about being nervous. A lot of vampires have trouble with this from time to time. It happens to everyone." "If I was a forty-year-old man suffering from erectile dysfunction, that would be a great comfort to me, thanks. ↗

— Molly Harper

#erectile-dysfunction #funny #jane-jameson #molly-harper #nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs